(Closed) I Take My Kids EVERYWHERE. This is false, right?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 77
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

People can be absolutely redic. My Future Sister-In-Law threw a bit of a hissy at my bridal shower about not being able to bring her son to the wedding (no kid wedding, no exceptions due to late cocktail reception). She actually had the audacity to say that she wouldn’t trust anybody but family to babysit (they will all be at the wedding), not even a nanny or a friend of mine with great credentials, whom we offered to PAY to babysit for her to attend our wedding. I know some people wouldn’t think this was crazy on her part, but if you knew her lifestyle you would certainly have some sanctimommie red flags flying right about now. Her only suggestion was that we pay one of the aunts, a guest at the wedding, to take turns babysitting him at the pizza place down the street from our venue. It was one of the most rude and disrespectful things I’d ever heard. Like I said, people can be incredibly self-centered and brazen when it comes to respecting other peoples wishes regarding their own wedding.   

ETA: When deciding to do a child-free reception, we knew the chances that some people wouldn’t make it because they couldn’t find a sitter etc.. but when it comes to immediate family, there is really no excuse IMO.

Post # 78
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

As others have said, brides and grooms have the right to determine their guest list, and guests have the right to decline, for any reason.  For me, it all hinges on how gracefully the situation is handled. If you choose to have an adults only wedding, then the invited parents who don’t want to have an evening without their kids (for whatever reason) should just simply send their regrets and wish the couple well.  The end.  They shouldn’t get their panties in a twist and neither should the bride(s)/groom(s).

Now….if a parent felt slighted that their child wasn’t invited, because, you know, their child is the world’s gift of sunshine and eternal happiness and their very presence is a miracle that any couple should be grateful for…..well then, they deserve the side eye.  That’s the kind of situation that I’ll admit I get judgy about.  And if they make a stink about it publically, like insisting or throwing fits at showers or on Facebook, well…..they’re a guestzilla in my book.

And for what it’s worth (which is nothing), I do think some healthy separation is necessary for a child’s development……some time away from their parents at an appropriate age will foster independence.  Parents that feel they cannot be away from their child, or that their child should never be away from them, need to evaluate why they feel that way and make sure that’s not a “them” issue rather than a “good parenting” issue.  

Post # 79
Member
2466 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@firefliesinthesky:  ++++1000% THIS!!!!!!

 In fact, most children don’t give a flying flip about weddings, so I dont know why people pitch such a fit about their presence……….

And it’s not that I have anything against people who wish to take their child everywhere. They are well within their rights to do so, and feel that it’s the right decision for their family. I do have a problem with people who will demonize anyone hosting an adults-only event, as though the host personally barged into their home and told their children they hated them. If you choose not to leave your child with anyone else, decline quietly and move on.

View original reply
@cdncinnamongirl:  ++++ 1000% This too…..EXACTLY how I feel

 

Post # 80
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013
Post # 81
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Post deleted because I decided I didn’t want to be judgemental on the internet and get into a pointless fight with people I don’t know 🙂

Post # 82
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Overjoyed:  I think if you take ANYONE “everywhere,” you’ve got issues. Sometimes you need alone time, or time with certain friends/family/whatever. Not every event is appropriate for every person. I love my husband. I take him MOST PLACES. But is he coming to a bachelorette party with me? No. Spa day with the girls? NO. Nor would he want to. We don’t have kids yet, but I imagine it’ll be the same with them.

The topic ‘I Take My Kids EVERYWHERE. This is false, right?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors