- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
So been a bit of a rough night, concerning my mother. I’ve just come back from spending 3 days with SO and his family, and I come home and the first thing my mother says to me is that I make a mess wherever I go- I just got home, and put down my things in my room. Im basically living at home for the next few months until I can find a place, thankfully, so this didnt really bother me, just mum being her neat freak self, no biggie. Rest assured, my lack of reaction apparently got to her, or so it would seem later in the evening. I show her the flowers SO’s mum got me for Easter, and all she did was give me a look I cant really describe at the moment.
So I go into my room, and Im making a list of things I need to do this week- quite a few before I leave to visit my sister. I decide to watch some shows on my computer- I keep it down because my father is heading to bed. The next thing I know, about 30 minutes later, is that I hear my mother screaming at the door saying she has been calling me for hours, just to ask me then if I threw away her towels and bed sheets. I think this is a little nutty so I let her know that I havent thrown away her towels or bed sheets, and that I wouldnt do such a thing. She basically says yeah, right, and then comes into my room to look around.
Look, Im a little miffed at this point, but its fine, I know how OCD my mum is sometimes. Anyways she takes one look at the flowers my SO’s mum gave me for easter (a lovely surprise) and she goes into a rant about how these flowers are so bad for me, my allergies and asthma, and that they will stain everything in the house and that I shouldnt keep them anywhere near me. In fact, I should throw them away otherwise I will cough all night. I now realize what and why pissed off my mum…the fact that my SO’s mum has given me flowers and that she apparently likes me. When I tell her they are fine because I have been around this variety before, she tells me Im disrespecting her and starts yelling at me while in my room. I ask her calmly to leave, and she keeps on her tirade even going as far as to call my sister in Kelowna to let her know how much of a monster I am.While she has upstairs she even said that if Im always this messy and dirty no one will ever have me….which was incredibly hurtful, and I feel almost a sting towards SO and I.
Apparently if anyone has a different opinion of me, their flowers must be trying to kill me, and indeed Im a terrible burden on everyone, because I throw away towels and make a mess everywhere.
Yes, this is my mother…*sigh* And Yes, I didnt yell at her, I just asked her to calmly leave my room, and I asked her to not say such hurtful things (verbatim). And I wonder why my sister is so incredibly cruel sometimes, and then I look at my mum and my father, and suddenly Im not so surprised my eldest sister has turned out the way she has.
I like to point out that Im not a slob- Im actually trying very hard to be even neater than ever (my mother’s standards) because Im in my parents house…but its more than obvious that me coming home has stirred up some issues with my mum. I dont understand why she says these things, and she does say them alot since Ive come home, and I dont understand why she thinks shes justified in saying them. I really just dont understand her period sometimes…I cant imagine being a mother and telling my daughter that no one will have her as she is, and no one will accept her for who she is….and calling her dirty in the process.
I just kinda wanted to rant a bit, and since its late Im assuming no one will read this..but I dont like going to bed angry, so hopefully some advice, insight might be welcome.