Post # 1
So my husband said he was working late. And it’s not unusual. But in was on his mac to edit a draft and realized I was still logged into his Google account. It said he left work at his usual time and was at a nearby apartment. When he got home I asked if he was really at work and he said of course. The next day I couldn’t take it and confronted him. He was at his female coworkers house helping install her TV. He didn’t tell me because he thought I’d be upset. So that’s his story. But he suddenly deleted his history on everything. I know I’m posting for advice because my heart doesn’t want to believe what my gut is telling me
Post # 2
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Definitely sounds like cheating in one form or another. Maybe sleep on a friend’s couch until he’s ready to admit what is really going on? Or ask him to share his location with your phone because of the recent loss of trust.
Post # 4
Even if he’s totally innocent and “helping a female coworker install her TV” is the actual truth, surely he’d still be able to understand how inappropriate it was to lie to you, and how that whole situation looks. Demanding proof of his loyalty shouldn’t be a surprise to him regardless of the situation. Don’t let this go, this isn’t how committed husbands should act.
Post # 5
I am so sorry – him deleting everything sounds sketchy. Also, in what world is hiding the truth ever better than just being honest.
Post # 7
Yes, he’s cheating.
Also, kick him to the couch. You shouldn’t have to be the one to leave your home.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
I’m so sorry OP! If there was nothing to hide, he wouldn’t have lied or deleted his history. If you would have been upset about him installing a female co-workers TV, he shouldn’t have done it. Even IF he was doing what he said he was doing, he still lied and turned it around on you “I HAD to lie, because YOU would have been mad”… instead of just not doing the thing that would have upset you in the first place.
Post # 9
Sooo sorry bee but yeah, he’s being sketchy. That never ends well.
Right now process what you can and make no decisions until you know what you want to do next, either confront or confirm or nothing at all…..but listen to your gut. Its not lying to you. Good luck and so many hugs!
Post # 10
Regardless of whatever he was doing with the other woman, lying and hiding contact with her is a violation of trust in itself. You can pursue the details of his relationship with her, but even if there is nothing beyond installing her TV, do not let him turn it around on you. You were not concerned over nothing; you were concerned over his suspicious behavior that was intentionally evasive and secretive.
Again, his contact with her became inappopriate when he decided he needed to lie about it, regardless of additional signs of emotional or physical infidelity.
Post # 11
It takes like three minutes to install a TV, this isn’t the 90s, every new appliance is smart, so the fact that he was so late in coming home is BS. I’m so sorry this is happening to you but I think you need to trust your gut on this one.
Post # 12
I’m sorry, I think you’re right that he’s having an affair. He’s making all the classic moves: “I didn’t tell you because you’d be upset” “I was only installing a TV for hours” and deleting history. He’s probably got his phone locked and messages scrubbed.
It’s a horrible situation to find yourself in. Some will say go to marriage counseling but counseling with an unrepentant liar is not a good plan. You might want to go to counseling yourself to clarify your options here. He’s just given you a ticket to end the marriage, it’s up to you if you want to use it.
Post # 13
Ah, I’m so sorry this is happening to you! Be strong. Sending hugs.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
Go with your gut bee. Classic “I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would be upset”. Then to delete his history. I am so sorry bee. Big hugs to you. You know he did there is no guessing. He made a huge mistake and he got busted, one thing don’t let him turn this on you. Because he will.
Post # 15
Trust. Your. Gut.
I’m so sorry. Whatever you choose to do, you will survive this. But please know you are worth more than someone who values *themselves* so little to cheat.