(Closed) I think he had an emotional affair

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@whiteblackblue:  I’m sorry this has happened.  I honestly think you need to break up and stay broken up.  I would not try to stay with a man like the one you described.  I think you should spend some time single figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. But I don’t think your future should include this guy.  Best wishes to you.

Post # 4
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@whiteblackblue:  he has repeatedly been insensitive and lied to you. i think you should find someone better!

Post # 5
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think someone who cheats once will cheat again. Break up and stay broken up. He’s not worth your time or energy!

Post # 6
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Here is my advice based on my own experience – let this one go. I dated a guy before my husband and while we were both really great people, together we were just toxic. There was no trust from the beginning and you cannot have a relationship without trust. We did the whole run around of breaking up and getting back together.  He was a tad older than me and for several different reasons I felt insecure and jealous when it came to him and our relationship and I’ll be the first to admit there was some crazy in me when it came to him….. but I LOVED HIM! I dreamt of our future together regardless. After 3 years and multiple break ups and getting back together he finally broke up with me for good and I honestly couldn’t be more thankful for that because I probably would have held onto that relationship forever. Luck was in my favor and I met my husband a month later when I was adamant about not being in another relationship. Our relationship is so much more full than my last. There is trust, love and respect and that is how a real relationship should be. I truly believe things happen for a reason and they happen when you least expect them to. Chin up! Find strength in knowing there is someone else out there that is better for you.

Post # 7
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

i agree with other posters on here – you should let this one go. for yourself.

picture you 10 years from now, willl things be different? or still be on and off again… it will hurt like hell at first but seriously invest in someone who will make you a priority, not an option.

 

(= good luck sweets

Post # 9
Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this, but I think it’s best if you both try to find someone new. If you can’t have a healthy relationship and keep breaking up, it is unlikely IMO that things will get better in the future.

Post # 11
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@whiteblackblue:  It will hurt to let go and It may take quite a while to get over it but know that you will get passed it! I have always believed time heals all and that you really never get over someone until you find someone else. That doesn’t mean rush out and jump into a relationship, take the time to find what is important to you but if you can remind yourself of that it might help. My sister recommended a book to me once called “In the meantime” by Iyanla Vanzant. It really opened my eyes to things I wanted in my life – especially when it came to relationships! feel free to PM me if you ever need to just vent! I know how hard it can be to let go of someone you love.

Post # 12
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

It’s horrible that you’re going through this, but I agree that this is really the eye opener that should push you to breaking up with this guy for good.  I have seen several of my friends go through relationships where they have broken up several times for the same issues (including insecurities in the relationship, emotional affairs, etc) and gotten back together, and it is just not a good idea.  The doubt will always be there and honestly if he has exchanged numbers/flirted/etc. with other girls all this time, it’s unlikely he will stop.

I understand that you love this guy and can’t imagine life without him, I have heard the same arguments from my friends — they trusted their bf’s and loved them so much, couldn’t believe anyone else would be right for them, were afraid of being alone etc. etc., but the fact of the matter is, there is no single one person out there for you, and you do not have to settle for a guy who lies to you and borderline if not outright cheats on you.  There are plenty of other men out there who will treat you with respect and won’t talk to other girls in this way because you are the one they love and worship.  You deserve better!

Post # 13
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You all are terrible for one another and the relationship is an absolute mess.  It’s time to go your separate ways.  I know I’m being blunt but I can also tell that you know it’s true.  Good luck to you.

Post # 14
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am so sorry that you are going through this *HUGS*

You are in an extremely unhealthy relationship and you owe yourself to be happy.  You cannot blame yourself for all the break ups and the cheating.  Whenever things get hard in a relationship you don’t call it quits, explore what else is out there, and then get back together.  No, you are supposed to stay together and work out your problems.

Also, everytime you break up he is always automatically with another womanwomen.  This is not healthy.  He is stringing you along right now.  Plus he makes fun of you behind his back with his friends.  He is not a good guy.

You deserve to be with someone who loves you and will stand by your side.  Not someone who will cheat on you and disrespect you the way that he does.  You owe it to yourself to move on. 

Post # 15
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

It just doesn’t sound very stable or healthy for either one of you, no matter how much you love him. I’d say walk away. Start fresh with someone else after you’ve had time to mature and move past your jealousy issues.

Post # 16
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

Emotional cheating is the kind of cheating that I don’t think a relationship can survive.  I’m so sorry.  If he’s lying to you about this, you don’t know what else he’s lying to you about.  I know you’ve invested 4+ years into this relationship, and it’s hard to walk away for good.  But please don’t let 4 years turn into 40 years.  Cut your losses and find someone who deserves you.

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