- Sadness Allover
- 8 years ago
I’m really not sure how to say this, so I am going to just come out and say it. I think my Fiance is going to call off our wedding, which is just a few weeks away.
I’ve been suffering some situational depression over the last year and tried meds but they didn’t work (I’m VERY sensetive to meds so I had lots of side effects). I talked to a counselor who was helpful but I just don’t have the money or insurance to go right now.
Anyhow, over the last few months I have withdrawn from sex. I just don’t like it much. I have never had an orgasim. It takes too much energy to have sex and I just don’t have any energy. I have asked him over and over to not make “four play” just groping me or thrusting himself behind me when ever he gets the chance but he hasn’t. I’m not blaming him but I need more help getting in the mood.
We talked about getting a few toys but that has never pulled through since he is the one that has to buy them because I am too shy. And to be honest, I don’t know where to begin with this anyhow.
So last night, when he made an effort again, I said no, again. And as usual, I feel horrible and try to explain how it could just be my birth control, stress from wedding, stress from not working, stress from money, my being very overweight (70+ pounds) and my depresssion. Then he said “I don’t know how much more I can take of this.”
I asked what that meant and he said “Sex once a month isn’t enough. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.” I listed my reasons again to why I have no drive and he said “what if it isn’t and you just don’t like sex and you never will?”
So I asked if we should call off the wedding and he said we might need to think about it.
I love him so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with him but I don’t think sex is important to me but it is to him. And it should be important to him. Sex is important in a relationship.
Basically, I don’t know who to turn to and I don’t know what to do. I am going to call my doctor and ask for new birth control but what if that doesn’t do it?
I’m I alone in this low sex drive issue? Does sex therapy really work?