- 12 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
I definitely agreen with greenleafmountain. There is probably more going on–he has some valid concerns about money. And honestly, I don’t know too many men who want to propose with a cracker jack ring, get married by the Justice of the Peace, and have a $50 wedding and call it a day. I know we talked about getting married for about 1.5 years before it happened. Why? Because there were lots of other factors to address besides, “i want to get married now”.
And, if he’s only 25 or 26, it’s completely possible he’s just NOT READY for marriage. Not every man in their mid-20’s are. Some are, but I’d say it’s probably about 50/50. Don’t we all have friends not ready for marriage? Plenty of my guy’s friends in their mid-20’s are just not ready. My husband wasn’t ready to propose until he was 26. We were together 3.5 years by the time it happened. I was ready before him, but I just had to chill around and he’d tell me, “don’t worry, i’ll do it, why else would i be with you?” and i just had to trust that he’d do it. But if you aren’t willing to wait while he catches up with you (you ARE 6 years older AND have 2 kids already–that’s a HUGE responsibility for a guy to take up. Two kids could be a little scary, have you addressed all that with him?), then let him know that. But, you could also end up forcing him to marry you if you give him an ultimatum, and in the end, that may backfire.
If you REALLY think he’s getting his milk for free, maybe you need to just bring it up with him–tell him you feel taken advantage of because of XYZ. Sit down and put into play a plan of action. It’s not all about leaving it up to the man necessarily when you share a life together as the two of you do. A relationship is give/take, but if you’re with a man whom you believe is just take-take-take, there are other issues at hand. Getting all the perks of marriage without necessarily being married is still a committment. If you guys were suddenly married, would everything literally be in place? I dunno, sometimes i wonder.