(Closed) I think I am losing my mind here – please help :)

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
407 posts
Helper bee

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patientdeebee1988:  So your boyfriend has a ring and is planning to propose soon…why are you so miserable? Shouldn’t you be excited? Genuinely confused here. Why not just appreciate this build up to something awesome. Not to diminish your feelings, but 1.5 years is not a very long time. Not sure what’s making you so impatient.

Post # 4
697 posts
Busy bee

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selinameh:  +1

Not to sound mean but as @selinameh said, a year and a half isn’t that long so a little bit of a wait isn’t a bad thing! Be excited and wait for it, it’s funner when it’s a surprise! At least you know he has the ring and is planning on it, so relax 🙂

Post # 6
5019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

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patientdeebee1988:  I find your username ironic when you are losing patience just 1 1/2 years into your relationship.  Chin up, the engagement is on its way!

Post # 7
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I totally get your frustration. I am very type A, I absolutely HATE surprises, and I especially hate not having control over pretty much every aspect of my life.

My BF of one year and I have spoken at length about marriage, and I recently (accidentally) found some very concrete evidence in our apartment that he has, at the very least, reached out to the designer I love to inquire about the ring.

My natural instinct is to tear the house apart looking for the ring/any other evidence, or poke at him relentlessly to give me more information, but… IT’S OUT OF MY CONTROL and I have to just accept it. 

You’re going to have to do the same, love! We CAN do this!!!

Post # 8
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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patientdeebee1988:  This whole idea of “being able to know within one year” thing is so silly to me- I mean sure, you may know you want to marry someone after a year, but that doesn’t mean you have to be engaged right after that!  My husband and I talked about marriage 6 months in…we knew we wanted to get married early on, but we were in no way ready to actually get married.  We waited 2.5 years to get engaged, and then another year before we had the wedding.  I think it’s crazy that your family is putting so much pressure on you guys, no wonder you’re impatient!  Everyone is basically telling you that you need to be!

You know you want to marry him, and he wants to marry you.  Just enjoy that right now!  The proposal will come.  You have the rest of your lives!

Post # 9
2418 posts
Buzzing bee

Your “waiting” sisters have created this unattractive little contrivance and you have dived head first into it.

You have asked “Why………..?.” The answer is that something beautiful and sweet and romantic has been turned into something unpleasant and artificial. It seems that someone of your generation decided that what was once delicate and sensitive and personal should instead be massive and burdened and forced.

The answer? If you love him, and you sound as though you do, develop amnesia focused at anything AND EVERYTHING having to do with this PROCESS, and focus instead on the joyful and light hearted meant-to-be joining of your lives.

Cherish, as you did previous to this chaos, every moment you spend together instead of feeling every gesture as a trap door opening beneath you.

Address what you are doing to sustain yourself as a strong, SMART (your writing style is GREAT) WOMAN instead of a disheveled giggling question answerer. You are whom he loves and you love HIM. Be proud that YOU have made yourself a woman who is cherished by someone wonderful, and let the nonsense flow by like it isn’t there.


Post # 11
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: South Lodge. 2nd of Dec 2017

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patientdeebee1988:  hey you pull up your big girl pants and behave yourself.  is he not worth the wait ? Have you not got the rest of your lives together ? If you answered yes to both, which I hope you did, then sit back relax and if anybody ask, say when he’s ready.  After all you have found your happy ever after for gods sake enjoy it !! 

Post # 12
387 posts
Helper bee

As PP have said, 1.5 years isn’t long at all. 

But I do have to ask, why are you going through his things? Were you trying to find something? 

The topic ‘I think I am losing my mind here – please help :)’ is closed to new replies.

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