Post # 1
So I seriously think I am losing my mind waiting for a proposal. My SO and I have been together for 1.5 years now and have talked through and through about getting engaged this year. I happened to stumble upon a text message from his family friend who is a jeweler, mentioning getting in touch with him about the final “balance” of the ring. I was SO excited when I saw that but now I think it’s driving me crazy.
Since then, I’ve been literally expecting it at every moment. I’m even losing sleep over this! He mentione that he wants to “get away” for a bit on Saturday and we are going to take a small trip for the day, but now the forecast says it’s going to be raining and I don’t even think that’s going to happen at this point…. which means I’m just going to have to keep waiting. I’ve promised myself that I won’t bring it up again to him, but it’s literally driving me mad.
I have a cousin’s wedding to go to in a couple of weeks and I know that EVERYBODY is going to be asking us when we are getting engaged and I really don’t want to hear it. I just want to curl up into a corner and not do anything to be honest. I truly hate this feeling and it’s making me resent the whole situation – I don’t even want a proposal anymore. Why is it completely up to the “man” of the relationship to do this? Isn’t this a joint decision?
Any encouragement and/or advice would be greatly appeciated as I feel as though I am reaching my wits’ end.
Post # 2
So your boyfriend has a ring and is planning to propose soon…why are you so miserable? Shouldn’t you be excited? Genuinely confused here. Why not just appreciate this build up to something awesome. Not to diminish your feelings, but 1.5 years is not a very long time. Not sure what’s making you so impatient.
Post # 3
You’re right…. I am excited but I guess I’m just uncomfortable anxious about it. Maybe I am used to having control over certain things in my life and the fact that this isn’t really in my hands is bothering me. I’m confused about why I feel this way too…. thank you for your insight. Very helpful!
Post # 4
Not to sound mean but as @selinameh said, a year and a half isn’t that long so a little bit of a wait isn’t a bad thing! Be excited and wait for it, it’s funner when it’s a surprise! At least you know he has the ring and is planning on it, so relax 🙂
Post # 5
I agree…. I don’t think it’s long at all. However, coming from a super traditional family/background, my entire family is pretty much WAITING for it to happen lol…. A couple of weeks ago, my dad had mentioned that for someone my SO’s age (mid 30’s) he should pretty much be able to decide if he wants to marry me within a year. I was kind of expecting it at our 1 year mark and so was my entire family, but that didn’t happen so… the pressure is starting to get to me. >_< Ultimately, I just hate the questioning/comments.
Thank you for your help! And you’re not sounding mean at all. This is actually great because it’s bringing things into perspective for me.
Post # 6
I find your username ironic when you are losing patience just 1 1/2 years into your relationship. Chin up, the engagement is on its way!
Post # 7
I totally get your frustration. I am very type A, I absolutely HATE surprises, and I especially hate not having control over pretty much every aspect of my life.
My BF of one year and I have spoken at length about marriage, and I recently (accidentally) found some very concrete evidence in our apartment that he has, at the very least, reached out to the designer I love to inquire about the ring.
My natural instinct is to tear the house apart looking for the ring/any other evidence, or poke at him relentlessly to give me more information, but… IT’S OUT OF MY CONTROL and I have to just accept it.
You’re going to have to do the same, love! We CAN do this!!!
Post # 8
This whole idea of “being able to know within one year” thing is so silly to me- I mean sure, you may know you want to marry someone after a year, but that doesn’t mean you have to be engaged right after that! My husband and I talked about marriage 6 months in…we knew we wanted to get married early on, but we were in no way ready to actually get married. We waited 2.5 years to get engaged, and then another year before we had the wedding. I think it’s crazy that your family is putting so much pressure on you guys, no wonder you’re impatient! Everyone is basically telling you that you need to be!
You know you want to marry him, and he wants to marry you. Just enjoy that right now! The proposal will come. You have the rest of your lives!
Post # 9
Your “waiting” sisters have created this unattractive little contrivance and you have dived head first into it.
You have asked “Why………..?.” The answer is that something beautiful and sweet and romantic has been turned into something unpleasant and artificial. It seems that someone of your generation decided that what was once delicate and sensitive and personal should instead be massive and burdened and forced.
The answer? If you love him, and you sound as though you do, develop amnesia focused at anything AND EVERYTHING having to do with this PROCESS, and focus instead on the joyful and light hearted meant-to-be joining of your lives.
Cherish, as you did previous to this chaos, every moment you spend together instead of feeling every gesture as a trap door opening beneath you.
Address what you are doing to sustain yourself as a strong, SMART (your writing style is GREAT) WOMAN instead of a disheveled giggling question answerer. You are whom he loves and you love HIM. Be proud that YOU have made yourself a woman who is cherished by someone wonderful, and let the nonsense flow by like it isn’t there.
MANY BLESSINGS, and BE YOURSELF!
Post # 10
This is beautiful. thank you!
Post # 11
- Wedding: South Lodge. 2nd of Dec 2017
hey you pull up your big girl pants and behave yourself. is he not worth the wait ? Have you not got the rest of your lives together ? If you answered yes to both, which I hope you did, then sit back relax and if anybody ask, say when he’s ready. After all you have found your happy ever after for gods sake enjoy it !!
Post # 12
As PP have said, 1.5 years isn’t long at all.
But I do have to ask, why are you going through his things? Were you trying to find something?