- 3 years ago
Too Much Information warning.
Brief timeline of my sexual history:
July 2011: had sex for the first time. Extremely painful (didn’t get wet and no lube) and physically traumatic. My vagina basically went numb after a while.
May 2012: had sex for the 2nd and 3rd time. Extremely painful, but he was able to penetrate fine. He finished. I felt nothing.
June 2012-Feb 2013: attempted sex about 2-3 times, but men would get the tip in and then it would feel like hitting a brick wall and would hurt REALLY bad to the point I didn’t even wanna have sex anymore.
March 2013-Oct 2015: celibate. I told myself that I just couldn’t enjoy sex if I wasn’t in love. But now I believe I suffer from vaginismus (due to how painful my first time was) and I was just tired/afraid of attempting sex when I knew it wouldn’t work for me.
I’ve orgasmed plenty of times from masturbating (never masturbated by penetrating myself). It’s always intense, but I never make any kind of noise. No moaning, no screaming. In October when I ended my celibacy for someone I was very much in love with, he was able to make me orgasm through oral sex, but I couldn’t help but notice how different it was from when I masturbate. Not only did I moan loudly and scream a little, it was uncontrollable… like it just happened and I couldn’t stop it. My legs trembled and my body shook and everything. The thing is, it didn’t even feel HALF intense as it does when I masturbate. I mean…it was nice, but I barely felt it. So I couldn’t understand why I screamed so loud?
The same thing happened the other night. A guy was fingering me and… it didn’t feel like it does when I masturbate. I mean, I know how an orgasm is supposed to feel for me… and this felt more like an urge to pee along with very very slight pleasure. But I screamed even louder and longer than I did with the other guy. And once again, it was uncontrollable. I never saw it coming…had no idea it was about to happen. It didn’t feel like an orgasm. It felt nice, but not anywhere near as good as when I pleasure myself.
So I’m just confused… I know I’m very inexperienced when it comes to sex because I haven’t had much and when I did, it was bad. Has anyone every experienced this? In case anyone is thinking maybe a medical condition as far as the pain, I have a gyne appointment coming up to check for endometriosis, fibroids, etc. Also gonna ask about a tilted uterus. I’m just so frustrated that everyone around me seems to engage in and enjoy sex so easily and I’m struggling. I’m 24 in case that matters to anyone. Thanks in advance.
Edit: Before anyone asks about lubrication, I highly doubt that’s the problem. With the exception of my first time, I’ve been extremelyyyyy wet before penetration. Guys always comment about how crazy wet I am and I’ve seen my uhhhhh juices…..literally drip off of them when they pull out. Sorry for all the gross details lmao.
- This topic was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by nahbee.