(Closed) I think I came? I'm almost sure… I mean, I had to. Right?

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
1008 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t overthink it too much! Definitely get checked out for the pain, but it’s totally normal to have experiences that are different in different situations. When you masturbate, you know exactly what works for you, what feels good when, and so on, and so you’ll have a different experience compared to being with another person. It won’t always be the same!

Honestly, as long as it’s consensual, you’re enjoying yourself, and you’ve been screened for an underlying issue regarding the pain, just have fun!!

Post # 3
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
nahbee :  The orgasms I give myself have always been far more pleasurable than any a man was able to give me, and here is why: I know my own body. i can keep up the right rhythm without stopping or changing something, and most importantly, I use my imagination, which is why by FAR the most amazing sex I have ever had has been in my own thoughts and fantasies. 

Now, for the painful part, you could be unconsciously tensing up before penetration because you are so worried about the pain. Don’t have sex until you are super excited and use lube if needed. It’s a girl’s best friend, really 🙂

Post # 4
2044 posts
Buzzing bee

Masturbation orgasms and sex / oral orgasms are a lot different for me. There are a lot of different types of orgasms. 

Post # 5
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

The screaming & urge to pee & shaking sounds more like they’re just violently stimulating/pressuring the nerve endings which if anything is more unbareable than pleasurable.

You need to educate these guys to touch you the same way you do when you masturbate and also take it slow and build up to get in the head space you need to be in to get there.

Something for the peanut gallery over on…: If the “intensity” is too high with these guys in all the wrong ways but not in the pleasurable orgasmic way tell them to imagine your clit like your eyeball. Feels good to rub your eyes through the eyelid right, but rubbing your eyeball straight on is not nice, you might still get the itch out but mainly it’s just intense and uncomfortable. Just saying…Maybe your clit needs to stay in da hood.

Post # 6
93 posts
Worker bee

I don’t think it’s unusal; I’ve had the same thing along the lines you’ve described, and they feel like different things. “The big one”, for me, is usually during penetration and when he rubs a certain way, and feels similar to when I do myself. When he fingers, this often produces “the maybe/small one”, and often leads to squirting or release of some sort of bodily fluid lol. But it leaves you still looking for the big one.

I agree with the other posts above though; it’s different on your own because you know your body, and it took my partner and I a while to work out what worked for us. It shouldn’t hurt though, and if it continues to do so I’d definitely go chat with a doctor.

Edit: just saw 

View original reply
annelise210516‘s post, that analogy is great! Also spot on with the intensity thing, and agreed, it’s likely pushing nerve endings (though it’s a fine line between being pleasureable and being too intense)

Post # 8
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

There are different types of orgasms. When you masturbate you are probably having a clitoral orgasm. When you are penetrated, your partner is probably hitting your g spot which is closer to your bladder, therefore giving you the slight urge to pee! 

For what it’s worth, mine are very different solo vs. with my hubby. 

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