(Closed) I think I had my first anxiety attack

posted 7 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this!!  Please don’t give up! I know your feeling overwhelmed right now, but did it cross your mind that all of these trials have been placed before the two of you to make you stronger?  It shows your love and devotion for one another and that against all odds your love for each other prevailed?  That’s what I thought of when I read your post.  I don’t know much about the rules for getting married in a Catholic church, so I can’t comment on that, but I’m sure that every thing will work out.  Like you said, ya’ll have been through alot, but you’ve also made it through everything together! (((HUGS!))

Post # 5
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oh nooooooo… girl i’m so so sorry! i can’t believe they would LIE about something that important!!! I don’t know the specifics on the unbaptized part since FH is so that never came up, but if he’s willing (which I would assume so since he thought he already was) maybe FH can get baptized before the ceremony? I would definitely talk to the priest and get his opinion on it. :[ hope it all turns out okay…

Post # 6
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Please don’t take this as meaning that you shouldn’t be together just because he wasn’t baptized into your faith! Yes, it’s an awful obstacle, but you’ll make it work! Don’t give up!

Post # 7
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If you’ve already gone through marriage prep and paid the church, why can’t you just call the church and get him baptized? It’s not like you haven’t been in church, and if he already thought he was baptized I would imagine he is familiar with the church teachings enough that it shouldn’t be a problem, especially if you are planning on your marriage being within the church.

**edit–btw, I can’t believe the church let you book a time and go through marriage prep without providing the certificate or baptism info previously!

Post # 8
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

He can still be baptized can’t he? No church would turn someone away…

Post # 9
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

If you’ve done the marriage prep then he should be able to be baptized by your church. Why would any church not baptize someone who was willing to commit? I’m sorry for the situation but when you calm down and feel a little better, do some research and update us! πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Heatherloveskenny Ahh I see so you’re having more than one problem. He wasn’t baptised, he was raised nondemoninational, and he’s not in a place where he wants to affiliate with a church/faith. And I can’t believe your mom said taht…I would have passed out!

Now I see why you are frustrated. It seems like this has been like the icing on the crapstorm cake. You could have just avoided the church altogether since for him it is more of just a venue than a faith and sacrament, and now it doesn’t have that extra meaning.

Sigh. I sort of know where you are coming from, but we have not had it so bad. I wanted a church wedding, but FH and his family (who are also Catholic) didn’t like the idea for a handful of reasons. FH also objected to the cost and time, and that he didn’t want us to just go through the motions (we don’t attend church regularly) for a year just to have the ceremony in the church, and that he wanted to wait for a vow renewal to do it in the church with just us, or us and our parents…something small and more meaningful when faith came back to our lives because of kids, etc… So we are having a destination wedding in a chapel that is a “religious nondenominational” ceremony and then hopefully can do a Catholic ceremony later…

Post # 12
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

my Fiance who was raised catholic and married his first wife in a catholic church says most churches will let you marry a non catholic and have a catholic marriage as long as you promise to raise your kids catholic. their marriage didnt work out but they are still raising their daughter semi catholic (church on holidays basically) but when we decided to get married i told him i wanted a non denominational since neither of us are religious anymore

Post # 14
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Heatherloveskenny πŸ™‚ If it makes you feel better, I kinda wish we were doing the church wedding and saving the destination wedding for our vow renewal!! LOL I just love the look and tradition, and it seems like that’s what you and your Fiance wanted…the look, the tradition, the family…You’re going to have a very classically beautiful wedding that you can look back on and your kids can look back on and be proud of. And since your Fiance doesn’t want to be Catholic right now, this may be a blessing in disguise…because if/when you do a vow renewal it will have more meaning for you both if he has decided he wants back into a church. πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Didn’t you need to provide a baptismal certificate when you first booked your church, or when you started the marriage preparations?

Post # 16
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Deep breath πŸ™‚ Don’t stress out more than you need to. This really isn’t that big of a deal (well, for the wedding – the lying is another matter).

You can still get married and still have a valid wedding. Catholic + non-baptized Christian requires a dispensation from the Bishop. That takes about a week to get in most cases and the priest or deacon will take care of everything. In an emergency situation, the priest/deacon could probably get the approval same-day (drive over to the diocese office or bishop’s rectory and knock on his door).

A Catholic + Christian requires permission, usually from the pastor of the parish where you’re getting married. This takes about 3 minutes to get. Again, the priest or deacon will take care of everything (in fact you probably already have this since you assumed he was baptized).

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