(Closed) I think I lost a friend because I didn’t give her enough money as a wedding gift

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 17
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Dumb question: does she have a new phone? If she is responding to facebook messages but nothing to do with her phone…do you see where I’m going here?


Post # 19
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

She should not be upset by that gift.  I only got that kind of money from relatives!  I’d give her the beneifit of the doubt, that she’s just busy after the wedding & settling in to married life, but if you don’t hear from her soon, then I’d start to be worried about it.

I would have been happy getting a CARD from some people, but didn’t.. What you gave was very generous.

Post # 20
581 posts
Busy bee

Maybe she’s having marital problems, or is embarassed because she hasn’t sent thank you notes.  I wouldn’t write her off.  Give her a chance and some time.

Post # 21
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I dont particularly like that she doesnt have 2 seconds to pick up the phone or throw a text that says listen things are a little out of wack at the moment…. dont mean to ignore you, well catch up soon.  Try to contact her in another way, if not let it go…

Post # 23
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Of course that wasn’t too low! We had a couple give us $50 total ($25 each) and were grateful for that! Some people didn’t give us anything, but we were really happy they at least made it to our wedding.

Post # 25
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@happyb: To me $125 is a lot (plus all the other things you did for her)! I have aunts that only gave us $30 for my bridal shower AND our wedding gift so I would be more than thrilled by what you gave and did…

Honestly weddings show who your true friends are. I am also learning that lesson throughout this process and in the end it will make me stronger. It just sucks that during such a joyous time in our lives we are also faced with some major let-downs by those we consider close. All I can suggest is maybe she is just dealing with some after wedding stress and issues and once things calm down in her newlywed life she will resume contact with you! Best of luck

Post # 26
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just adding my two cents… I also think $125 is a very generous gift.  I know some people say that what’s expected can be regional, but I’ve never heard of $125 being something to be offended over.  And I also agree with PPs that if the amount is why she isn’t returning your phone calls, she’s really not friend material.  Sounds to me like you were very generous during her wedding and related events!

We couldn’t make a friend’s wedding last year where we knew the “dinner” cost the couple less than $5 per person (they told us all about it).  We didn’t go (it was out of province and work meant we just couldn’t, though we tried!) and were really broke at the time, so we sent $60 in a card.  We didn’t even get a thank you… I thought THAT was rude!!  If we’d given $125 and got no thank you and ignored calls, I definitely would have been offended!

Post # 29
2530 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

WOW! $125 is a lot – I would be ecstatic to get that! Especially if it was from someone I only spent new years and birthdays with!

Post # 30
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

Glad to hear that it wasn’t over the gift! Sometimes things get really hectic and time flies by before you even know it! So she probably didn’t realize 2 months have already passed since her wedding and didn’t have much of a chance to get back to you.

Post # 31
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think you’ve got to keep searching for other reasons. That’s an adequate wedding gift and not the kind that anyone would throw a friendship away based on–although I hope no one would ever through a friendship away because of a cheap gift!! People all feel differently about gift giving.

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