(Closed) I think I made a blunder…now how do I fix it?!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

He sounds like a really practical guy and that is going to come in really handy in the future when you’re married 🙂  That’s great!  I don’t think there was anything wrong with your comment that he shouldn’t get you a useful present for Christmas though.  I think I might have said the same thing and I’m really practical as well.  I just thing that presents should be fun (although if someone got me a Dyson I’d pee myself with excitement). 

 

Is there any way you could illuminate why he took that comment personally?  Or is it that you hinted you wanted a ring instead of a present?

Post # 4
Member
6212 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I don’t really think you said anything wrong, I think he needs to work on his communication skills. 

However, I think a direct approach is what you need to fix this from your end. Just tell him what you meant

Post # 6
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

Awww the TV for the sewing room is so sweet!  That’s a thoughtful gift!

 

He sounds like a practical person to me, and being one myself my advice would be to draw him a road map of exactly what you mean.  I would give all those presents you’ve listed lol.  In fact the first gift I gave my SO was a pair of North Face gloves because he hated snow and tried to steal mine. 

 

It sounds like what is frustrating him might be that he doesn’t know what you mean by your statement, and not that you said your statement.

Post # 8
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@OneDayaSchafer:  

My man is a practical gift giver too, so very frustrating!!!  – for my birthday this year he spent a fortune on a new laptop ( i didnt even need a new one but HE thought i needed something bigger and better!!). i would have DEF ratherd he spent the money on the long awaited ring!!!

I recently bought myself a shiney new ring ( man made diamonds- i hate coloured stones) for my right hand ( as all my other rings are from previous boyfriends ect) and sent him a joking text last night saying id tried it on my engagement finger and it looked sooo much better there! He replied saying that i should leave it there till he buys me a ring! I said really and he said well, we have a beautiful son and you cant get rid of me till im dead so go for it! well you can imagine my excitement and its NOT COMING OFF TILL IT GETS A REPLACEMENT!! :-)) So technically hes happy for the world too see Im a taken lady but he wants to  find something perfect for my finger!!! I AM SOOOO STOKED!

Do you get to see him often in person? My man works away for 4-6 weeks at a time hence the text conversations! If so, i would just tell him that you dont want him to spend money on a christmas gift and you would love it instead if he could put the money towards a forever ring. tell him it would make you the happiest girl in the world 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wedo Practical, Romantic, and Sexy- doesnt matter the price or which costs more, but have to cover all the bases- usually takes 3 different presents- unless you are really creative with a irobot- or washing machine

Post # 10
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

hahaha, for my first Birthday after I had met my now Fiance, he bought me a frying pan! you wanna talk practical. I had the same conversation with him a few months back. please don’t buy me anything useful, buy me something sparkly. So far my presents from him have included said frying pan, a casserole dish, a cord to connect my laptop to my tv and a (very ugly) shatter proof, water proof smart phone. 

He was offeneded at first as he thought i was not being appreciative and he too shut down for ages after I made that comment but I later let him know that I didn’t not appreciate the gifts, I just wanted something frivolous and girly sometimes. I knwo with him he hates the idea that I havne’t loved his presents so maybe your SO is the same. Let him know that you have everything you NEED (thanks to him) and now you would love some things you WANT. This way it validates all of the work he has put in to “providing” as well as allowing him now to stop…..

Post # 11
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@retreadbride:  OMG BEST IDEA EVER!!!!!! Solves all of these problems.

 

Hehe, I can’t really help as I am the practical gift giver in the relationship and therefore love the practical gifts, but I think definitely give him a better idea and make sure he knows how much you loved his past gifts before you broach the subject again.

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