(Closed) I think I made a mistake getting engaged

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
1678 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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confusedPAgirl1234:  if you are getting disappointed when you are hanging with other guys and you “can’t go past the friendzone”, you should not be engaged. you are young and have a lot of life ahead of you! live it. if your fiancé can’t handle your desire to be sure you’ve lived your life to the fullest, then its not meant to be. you are young!

i say all of this because i got engaged when i was 23, and after about 6 months i realized i was WAY too young and had WAY too many things i wanted to do with my life before settling down, and it was the best decision i ever made because now, 10 years later, i’m about to marry the best man i’ve ever known, and i met him because i made the decision to not settle for getting married just because i didn’t want to disappoint anyone. if you don’t want to do it, don’t. or wait. its completely ok!

Post # 32
9573 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

right after i graduated college my college boyfriend started talking about marriage.  i was happy with him, but wasn’t ready to settle down at that point in my life.  i also started feeling trapped and didn’t want him to be the only person i ever had sex with.  

he tried to reassure me that many couples he knew were happily married and had very few sexual partners. 

we ended up breaking up, for other reasons.  but i knew it would never work for us.

if you feel trapped now, i don’t see it getting any better. 

figure out if this is what you want.  if not, move on.  if it is meant to be, maybe you will find each other after you experience what you want to experience.

Post # 33
248 posts
Helper bee

It seems to me that you need to take sometime to yourself to figure out what you really want and need. It’s understandable to have pre-wedding jitters, marriage is a big step and it’s something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you’re having certain negative feelings about where you are with your fiance, then you should say something. Don’t feel obligated in moving forward with the wedding plans if you don’t feel comfortable. It’s not fair to you to have that stress hanging over your head and I don’t think it’s fair to your fiance to keep him out of the loop…How would you feel if he felt the same way and didn’t tell you about it? Honesty is truly the best policy, talk to your fiance. Wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out. 

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