- 6 years ago
For those who may need to catch up on my original post, you can find it here.
Just thought I would post a small update as to how things are going to date.
I had my appointment last Friday, turns out it was actually a counselor I was seeing… not a psychiatrist. It’s a covered service through my work. That being said, it was still quite helpful.
I listed off all of my symptoms to her, she asked me a few questions in return. She said one of the biggest things she noticed was that any stress I appear to have in my life right now seems to be caused by my mood swings, not the other way around. I found that interesting and very, very true. A good while into my appointment, I sheepishly admitted that I made the mistake of googling my symptoms – and that the only thing that came up over and over again was bipolar disorder. She got a strange look on her face, looked kinda shocked/bewildered and said that I read her mind. That’s all she was thinking as I relayed my symptoms to her.
Even though I know she couldn’t diagnose me… I can’t explain how I felt when she said that. A little bit like I was sucker punched, a little bit like I was expecting it/relieved. At the same time, hearing her – a professional – say that made all of this feel real. It’s not just in my mind, it’s not just a passing bad mood… I may/most likely have a mental disorder. I feel like my world suddenly makes complete sense and has been flipped upside down all at the same time. What a weird feeling!! I must also say, though I’ve had eye-rolls by friends at the fact that I googled my symptoms… I’m glad I’ve done the research that I have, to prepare me for what now seems like an inevitable official diagnosis at some point [hopefully soon].
She gave some good suggestions as to what I should do when I feel my moods switching [or what not to do]. She also gave me direction to a clinic of physician psychotherapists I could see for diagnosis. I see her again midmonth and now am just waiting to meet with a psychiatrist for a firm diagnosis. I’ve been calling around to tons of places hoping to get in sooner, but they all require a referral so I’ll be heading to a clinic soon to get that .
One thing I’m having trouble with, even though I know I want help as soon as possible… it’s hard to make myself go to the doctor when I feel good. For the last week, I’ve felt great . Though with that being said, I’ve had some new symptoms along with the usual ones…I suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome every now and then [which I’ve read is associated with BP], but the last couple of days, I can’t sit still for the life of me. I can’t stop fidgeting with my hands, and I’ve even had the restless feeling all through both of my arms. Yesterday it was incredibly uncomfortable, but eventually died down and went away. From what I’ve read, all of what I’m experiencing is common with Hypomania. Again, I’m no doctor, but from all of the research I’ve done on the disorder, I thiiiink I may have Type 2 Bipolar Disorder. My symptoms fit that more than any of the other types. Especially with the respects to what goes on during the upswing part [being either extremely happy/full of energy or irritable/impatient at times]. But who knows.
I’ve been tracking my moods, the kinds of days I’ve been having, and how I’ve been sleeping/eating as well. I’ve read that it’s a good idea to try to go to bed/get up at the same time every single day, even on days off, so I may try that but it’ll be hard to get used to.
If anyone has any tips as to how I could calm myself down during both up/down moods while I wait for the official diagnosis/treatment to start… it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks so much for reading guys.