(Closed) I think I might be wrong, but I’m interested in different opinions

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Am I wrong to be annoyed?
    Yes. It's not that big a deal. : (26 votes)
    38 %
    No. That would annoy me too. : (41 votes)
    59 %
    Other Opinion ~ : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I don’t think you are wrong for feeling this way at all. I think it puts extra stress on you because here your bridesmaids are all set and now you have to figure out how to get the shoes fixed. I think its your bridesmaid’s responsibility to get the dress and shoes in wedding condition. I’m not a fan of bridesmaids wearing the dresses before the wedding, although I can understand its their right if they pay for them. I think it’s cutting it close, especially if they aren’t careful and ruin the dress. I know I wouldn’t have fun if I had to worry about my outfit and think it would always be easier to wear something else. 

    I think you have enough to stress about right now and agree that the bridesmaid should have called someone else or maybe asked a dry cleaning professional so you weren’t worried about the situation. I hope it all works out!

    Post # 5
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Hmmm… I can understand her wanting to wear the shoes before to break them in and make them comfy.  But I would be annoyed about her wearing the dress before the wedding because it would send me the message that she didn’t think the wedding was special enough to save the dress till then. I’m not saying this is how she feels, this is just how I would feel about the situation.

    Post # 6
    2829 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If she paid for it then it is technically her right to wear them whenever & wherever she wants.

    That being said…

    I think it is really really inconsiderate and irresponsible of her to wear the pieces to an outing or event in which she may have ruined the shoes and dress. On top of that it is really kind of rude for her to then tell you about it and thus induce some completely unnecessary bride-brain stress.

    I would definitely be a little annoyed. But I would likely tell the Bridesmaid or Best Man her bad, her job to fix it. If it doesn’t work out, then GEE I guess you will be nekkid at the wedding.. should have thought of that before you went partying in your wedding get-up hey silly Bridesmaid or Best Man. ?

    Post # 7
    4770 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I voted other since yes it would annoy me, but no it is not a big deal. 

    She did pay for it it is her’s to wear.  I wore my Bridesmaid or Best Man dress before the wedding Embarassed but would never dream of telling the bride becasue I knew it would probably stress her out.  So in short you would be better off had your Bridesmaid or Best Man not told you and you prob would not notice but now you will scrutinize her dress and shoes. 

    Post # 8
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Even is something happened to her shoes would it be bad enough to see in the pics? If it is, what the heck did she do in those things!?!?

    Post # 9
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I can understand her wanting to wear the shoes to break them in (or since you let them pick their own shoes, she may have owned them for years so obviously they’d have been worn before).  So I don’t think you can really be upset about that.

    But I do think that a Bridesmaid or Best Man should refrain from wearing the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress to other events before the wedding.  Yes – she did pay for it but I see it as a courtesy and respect thing to wait until after the wedding to wear it for other things.

    Post # 10
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Double post – darn WB!

    Post # 11
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I mean, if you kicked her out of the wedding because of it, yes, you would be wrong. But being stressed out and annoyed is perfectly reasonable!!!

    Post # 12
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I voted no, that it would annoy me, too. I do agree with PPs in the fact that it’s her dress/shoes that she paid for, she’s more than welcome to wear them when and wherever she would like, but your wedding is literally just around the corner. That’s cutting it way close to wear something out, especially since she obviously wasn’t careful with it. (BTW what was she doing that she needs to get her wedding attire “fixed” ?!)

    Also, I don’t see why she had to seek out advice from you. SHE is supposed to be there for YOU, not vice versa. If one of my BMs came to me with that issue, I’d tell them that they needed to figure it out on their own, or they wouldn’t be standing next to me. Might sound harsh, but you’ve got way to much to deal with in the upcoming weeks to worry about a party stain on someone’s dress or a broken strap on a shoe.


    Post # 13
    3049 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I think it’s fine that she wore the stuff that she bought before your wedding. I’ve done the same with a black Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I had. Every Bridesmaid or Best Man was wearing something different so it’s not like I was revealing something amazing. I think my friend got a little irritated, but she was nice about it. Good thing, because I really didn’t care.

    Post # 14
    1679 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think it’s fine that she wore her clothes.  I think she was foolish to dump the problem about them possibly being dirty on you.  She should have quietly consulted a dry clearner about cleaning/fixing the shoes.

    It’s pretty interesting that she asked you about whether something can be dry cleaned…unless you are a dry cleaner?  Seems a bit AW/drama queen of her to worry you with such a thing!

    Post # 15
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    It would annoy me too – BMs are supposed to alleviate stress not add to it and burden you with further worries (unfortunately they don’t always get this!). She was selfish to wear them. I’d just tell her she has to tell with it herself. At the end of the day tho no-one will notice your BMs shoes loads -don’t worry WinkGood luck!

    Post # 16
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Five weeks before your wedding EVERYTHING seems like a big deal.  I think it would annoy me but at the end of the day you won’t even be able to notice in pictures and stuff.  My girls had short dresses and were told to wear gold heels and in the full length pics they feet are so small you hardly notice at all.

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