- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
So it is 3 days before my wedding and due to recent events I just really need a place to vent. Today I got all of my wedding flowers in so I was working on them all morning, I get home and next thing I know my Maid/Matron of Honor is blowing up my phone. When I answered she started yelling at me, claiming that my mom said I was talking shit about her. I called my Mom and asked why she would do that to me. My mom then sent me the text that she had sent her which said “I wish you would have helped my daughter more, you have been a really shitty maid of honor, but don’t worry, we got it all covered.” (back story on my Maid/Matron of Honor – she has been my friend since we were 5, she basically begged me to be the maid of honor, claiming that she would be the best and that she would do everything for me…blah blah blah. So I ended up making her the Maid/Matron of Honor and it was based on the fact that we were friends for so long, her eagerness to do it, and the fact that the previous wedding our friend had, she was devastated that she didn’t get to be the Maid/Matron of Honor. I thought it would mean a lot to her so I gave her the position. Well, I live 700 miles from where my wedding is being held and where she lives.)
My point is that she began yelling at me because my mom said she was a bad maid of honor, accusing me of being the one who caused my mother to formulate that opinion (not so, I mean she is a terrible Maid/Matron of Honor but it was actually other people who told me that before I actually realized it wasn’t just me thinking that or being irrational.) So she ruined my day. I cried, she hung up on me, she claimed I was torturing her and that she has done everything for me to help my big day go well….
LOL…I mean that part was hilarious. Completely untrue, and hilarious. Let me tell you the things she has done to help me:
1. She came with me to pick out my dress…and she was an hour and a half late.
2. She volunteered to help me set up our engagement party and then she showed up after all the guests had arrived (she didn’t help either, me and my fiance did all the work.)
3. She came with me to pick out our wedding venue, and made out with her loser boyfriend the entire time so every place we went the coordinators though they were the ones getting married.
4. I asked her to help me pick out the shoes. I said very clearly that I wanted pewter, peep toe, low heel. No sling backs, no glitter, no platforms. About three months later she looked for shoes and sent me only photos of silver or glittery or platform shoes. I told her nicely that I didn’t like any of them and she got all upset at me and said that I was shooting down all of her ideas.
5. She went with me to pick out the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. every single dress I liked, she would say “I hate that.” or “That’s so ugly, I’ll never be able to wear that again.” So eventually to get her to agree with me I had the dresses made. I had to pick out the color, the patterns, and the materials, I sent all the girls pre-addressed and stamped envelopes so they could send in their measurements (all because there was not one single dress thatshe liked and when I told her that she was making it hard on me she said “I am the Maid/Matron of Honor I get a say.”)
6. I had to find the shoes on my own and every single one of my BMs bought theirs, except for her, so while I was at work I had to have my fiance order them for her.
7. I tried to plan my own bridal shower because she would not help me (she’s one of those “yeah I am going to do that tomorrow” kind of people and then when time is almost out and you have to do it on your own she gets all upset and acts like she was just about to do it and you were the impatient one) So my cousin actually ended up doing it for me (because i was graduating school/ working ft/ planning an out of state wedding and shower…i was about to lose it.)
8. When she was a part of the bridal shower my cousin asked her to bring the dessert and chicken. She then texted everyone of the BMs and asked them to pitch in (mind you, they all already bought stuff and had duties they were working on, she was the ONLY one who wasn’t helping at all, and my cousin paid for everything and my Maid/Matron of Honor had the audacity to even ask her for money!) She brought both items to the shower but her mom made them and the entire day she was all “Look what I made!” My BMs would not even talk to her (because by this time they were upset at how rude she was about asking for money.)
9. For my bachelorette party, she insisted that penises be there (even though I put up a huge figh to not have them. (I mean a year before it happened she was like “No, they HAVE TO be there!” I was so upset I bawled my eyes out….many, many times) and then finally one month before the bachelorette party, she agreed to not bring them. Thank goodness.
10. Before the bachelorette party she waited until the last minute to invite people. My other BMs had to get on her about it and told her that she wasn’t helping me enough then she told them that they were picking on her and that they were just jealous that she was the Maid/Matron of Honor.
11. When she asked me what I wanted to do for my bachelorette party I suggested going out and getting a limo. She said “What about the casino?” I said “No, I don’t like gambling or cigarettes” (which are always in casinos!) then she tried to convince me otherwise and kept insisting that that’s what we should do, I said “please just let me have a say on this.” and she got all huffy and puffy at me and said “Well do you just want to have a sleep over?” I said “Are you joking? I mean I am a grown woman, you think because I don’t want to go to the casino that I don’t want to go out anywhere on my last night as a single lady?”
12. One month before I traveled the state where my wedding is I asked her if she would come with me to my vendor appointments (I had 3) she said absolutely. On the first day where I had two appointments she came with me and was very nice and loving (which she wasn’t the entire time, so it was refreshing) she said “i really want to be a good Maid/Matron of Honor and I am sorry that i have not been there for you.” By the end of the day she had taken me out to lunch, drove me around, bought me lunch and coffee. To get her back for the courtesy i took her out for dinner. (the entire next week she was all “I spent $30 on you that day. I mean the dinner I paid for was over $30.)
13. She blew me off for the third vendor appointment she said she would come to. I thought “no big deal” and went on my way.
14. I stayed the night at her house about a week ago. She yelled at me for leaving a water ring on a piece of wood, then she demanded that i take a shower before I get in her bed because she says she is scared of germs, then she got mad at me for leaving a cup in the sink and not washing it, i dumped out about a mouthful of orange juice becauser it was hurting my belly and she told me not to waste her money (as she showed me $500 worth of victoria’s secret clothing she bought the week before.) she was playing a really sad show on television and i asked her if we could change it and she said “just don’t watch it then.” as I sat there waiting for her it was the only thing i could do because she was busy packing to go somewhere the following day. then she got mad at me for replying to my texts (which for anyone who has been married, you know that the two weeks before the wedding are hectic and everyone is calling and texting.) she started spraying perfume everywhere and i politely asked her to stop and told her that i was really congested and it made it hard to breathe. she suggested things I could do for the congestion and i kept saying “Oh no, that’s okay, it’s just my allergies, the only thing i need is some medicine.” and she got upset and said “Fine! just shoot down all of my suggestions!”
15. At my bachelorette party, which was held at another friend’s house, whose mom paid for all the food and alcohol, she got upset because not enough people came to pay for the limo. she kept telling me all night about how she had to spent $100. Then when I was on the bus, we were hitting clubs, at one of them, one of the girls on the bus picked up two douche bags and when I tried to get them off the bus, my Maid/Matron of Honor yelled at me and told me they were staying. then when one of the girls on the bus with a boyfriend started kissing one of them, i said “Don’t do that! you have a boyfriend. stop!” and my Maid/Matron of Honor was like “leave her alone! she is a grown woman!” then my Maid/Matron of Honor made me get off the bus with three other girls and then the bus took off for a half hour with the douches still onboard. When I finally got back on the bus (freezing and upset!) I looked at her and I said “YOU B**** I can’t believe you kicked me off of my own bachelorette party bus so you could drive around with these guys!” and she was all “I never did that, you are overreacting” when I can clear as day remember sitting on the bus telling her that i didn’t want to get off if everyone wasn’t getting off and she said “GET OFF NOW!” she yelled at me and pointed her finger. (That night to try and make her feel better I told her that I was sorry and that it was just a crazy night (I don’t like fighting with people.)
16. Today she went crazy on me. 3 days before my wedding. she told me that she has done everything for me and that the only reason anyone has BMs is so that they can have someone else’s opinion (as her reply to me telling her that if she wasn’t so opinionated she would have made this whole experience easier on me.) then she called me a bridezilla (and I said yeah, I have been stressed, you don’t know what it’s like planning an out of state wedding (all DIY btw) with no help. i have made EVERYTHING…fancy invites, programs, bouquets, candy bar, table clothes, centerpieces, painted picture frames, all the name cards, table numbers…..you name it, I am even doing my own hair and makeup which my Maid/Matron of Honor had the audacity to ask if I was going to do everyone else’s hair as well (lol) Then she said that I treated her like a punching bag and called me condescending (which I am certain she doesn’t know what that means because I heard from my other BMs that she called them that too when they got into a disagreement with her.) She called me today and hung up on me 7 times. i tried to tell her that my mom doesn’t like her because she hasn’t helped me at all and everytime i started talking she would talk over me, then tell me that i was yelling, i told her i wasn’t and she said “you’re getting a tone and that’s the same thing.” i was seriously just talking, no tone. She hung up on me, then called me right back and said and so I screamed at her to stop hanging up on me. Then she sent me 12 texts about how I torture her and she has done everything for this wedding and i am not a good friend and that i have tainted our friendship (dead serious…I have been walking on egg shells not to hurt her feelings and she comes at me like that?) She told me that it wasn’t her fault that all of her wedding suggestions weren’t good enough for me and then she said that she was devastated because i told her that I picked her as my Maid/Matron of Honor because she wanted to be it. Then she said she didn’t want to be in the wedding and that I was a bad friend and that I don’t care about her and then in the very same sentence she said “but if you want me to be in the wedding still then i would be happy to do it, but if not, then that is okay.” (which for starters, if she told me this months ago, i probably would have agreed because she has been such a headache…but 3 days until my wedding? I am not going to call all my vendors to change my Maid/Matron of Honor at the last minute and then have that hanging over my head when her family comes to my wedding.)
anyways, i ended the texts by saying “i am sorry you feel that way can we just please move on, my wedding is in 3 days and i don’t have time for this, please.” she said okay and it ended there….but seriously i have to put on a poker face because I am pretty sure after all of this, that I can’t stand her. she has been so difficult and demanding and mean! then she has the guts to come and tell me that i am the problem when every single person associated with my wedding can’t stand her. I just don’t understand. She is just a terrible friend and she is far too self centered to be helpful to other people than herself. I can’t even wrap my head around the things she said to me today and to be so selfish that she starts this with me 3 days before my weddding? I mean what a….(you could probably guess where I am going with this.)
i just don’t think I am going to associate with her after this. i just feel so upset that she is even part of my wedding (but i can’t kick her out because as you have read, she is very difficult and she would absolutely ruin my wedding day.) Ugh…i just wish I wouldn’t have asked her to be in my wedding at all ='( i don’t even know what to do.