(Closed) I think I need to stop being friends with my MOH/ friend of 20 years!

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: should I still be friends with her after the wedding?
    No, she hasn't been there for you. : (5 votes)
    71 %
    Yes, maybe it was just a fluke. : (2 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 2
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

    It sounds to me like you’re letting the stress of this wedding affect your relationship with this girl. She hasn’t exactly been easy to get along with, but it sounds to me like she’s just immature, clueless, and overly enthusiastic. I doubt these traits started popping up after you asked her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor.

    You obviously have different priorities right now and she probably really believes that she has been trying to help you. She has referenced money a few times, maybe she really didn’t expect to have to pay out a lot of money for your wedding. She isn’t really obligated to. We all have things that we’d like our bridal party to do, but they’re not the ones calling the shots and planning a wedding, we are. We’re the ones that have to wear the responsibilty for our choices and, if we insist on certain things, we need to bear the cost for that too.

    I don’t think it was appropriate for your mother to say these things to your Maid/Matron of Honor right before the wedding. Anybody would be upset at being told that they were being a shitty person, whether it was true or not.

    I know in the lead up to my wedding, which was also a lot of DIY, I felt like I had to control every single aspect of my wedding because it was all up to me to get it done personally. If that is the way you are feeling, be careful not to let that controlling attitude spill over into the way you’re dealing with everyone else. It may well be that you’re subconsciously doing this.

    Post # 3
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Yes, it may be a headache…do you really want this person to be in all if your wedding pictures if you are planning to not be friends with them after the wedding. Think about the long term….

    The topic ‘I think I need to stop being friends with my MOH/ friend of 20 years!’ is closed to new replies.

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