(Closed) I think I offended one of my best friends…

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

Firstly, its your wedding. you get to do what you want. BUT you do need to consider the feelings of others to some extent. If you wern’t going to have her as a bridesmaid then why would you bring up what her dress would be? I think its unfair to do that. She obviously thought she was going to be in your wedding party from this. I can understand she is feeling hurt, howvever, it is your wedding you choose who is up there on the day. You can’t pull others out now for her to fill a spot. Hopefully you figure something out, that works for you. I can totally understand why you picked the other friend over her, but it still doesnt make it hurt any less. This wasnt supposed to sound snarky, but you need to think about your actions. 

Post # 4
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Edit: I misread the part about looking at bridesmaids dresses with E. From that, it does kind of seem like it was assumed that she’d be in your bridal party, so I can understand why she’s hurt that she wasn’t chosen.

Could you ask her to do a reading, invite her to your bachelorette party, etc. so she still feels included?

I will probably be in the same situation as you when I get married, since my oldest friend is not my closest friend either. She’s already started referring to herself as my maid of honor and I’m not even engaged yet :-/

Post # 7
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@MissThespian:  It’s pretty unfair of her to try to dictate your choices 🙁 Even though I get why she’s upset, it sounds like it’s for the best that she’s not in the wedding party.

Post # 9
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Considering during your most recent argument she agreed it was best that she came as a guest, I think she shouldn’t really expect to be Maid/Matron of Honor. 

I understand why she’d be upset given you looked at dresses but it also sounds like a lot has changed in your relationship since then too.

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