- 9 years ago
Ok, so I’m going crazy right now. For awhile, I was adament about not having a baby for awhile, but for some reason my thoughts have begun to shift recently, and tonight, it’s on overload. I was thinking about it, and thought of a lot of reasons why we should! My mind was so absorbed on it, I totally forgot to shave when I showered tonight… Now, I can’t sleep. I was all ready to talk to Mr. Joe as soon as I got out of the shower, but he was asleep already. D’oh! I don’t really want to talk to my mom about it because IF (huge if) we do decide to go with this, I want it to be a big fat surprise. I can’t sleep now andreally want to talk to someone about it! Ok, so. The background
I’m 21 (22 in Oct), he’s 24. We’ve been married 2 months, but lived together for a little over a year, dated 5 years total before getting married. I know we’re young, but we’ve been through a lot together (long distance relationship, family deaths, caring for our parents, unemployment, new jobs, etc). So, we’re “old” for our age. Our age doesn’t bother me at all (and my family doesn’t consider it an issue at all, and I know family is a good judge of that sort of thing). Hubby finished college, but is currently working a not so great job that doesn’t use his degree, but it’s fairly stable and has decent health benefits. I’m currently a part time nanny and plan on returning to school August 2010. We currently have NO DEBT (yay!!) and are making the bills with a bit left over to go into savings, dinners out, etc. We don’t live alone (with the inlaws, and his sister is here some of the time) and we all split the bills. I know people in worse off situations than us are having babies and making things work, so again, money isn’t really too big of an issue to me (Mr. Joe will more than likely say otherwise, but, since he’s asleep, we’ll have to wait to see). I know we can get used baby items and clothing fairly easily. I’m not the type who would want to buy a bunch of new stuff anyway because they outgrow it so fast!
Anyway, some of my reasons.
I would like 2 kids eventually, but I want them spread out, about 5 years apart. I would also like to be a young parent so that we can enjoy some of time together when we’re older. If we had one now, I would likely try to have another once I finish school, and maybe settle into a job (that would probably take about 3 years at absolute best, if they accept all 2 years worth of transfer credits, which they wont, so it’s more likely like 4-5 years instead). That would make me 26-27, and hubs 28-29. Young still, I know, but a bit older than I’d like if we were trying to have our first child, and I know my husband feels that was also. In my eyes, it would be a great time for a 2nd though.
I also feel like it might be better to have a baby before school starts rather than while I’m in it still. Granted, I could always try to “aim” for an early summer baby, but I would risk going into labor early and missing finals, which would be awful. If we did it now, I think I would be better suited to handle possible morning sickness with my parttime job instead of while I’m trying to attend class.
IF we got preggo in August, that would make the baby due in May, which would give me time to take care of the baby before classes started, and when fall comes around, the baby would be old enough to be left in childcare if Mother-In-Law couldn’t care for it (hubs has already said Mother-In-Law would do it. It is I guess common for the grandparents to care for the grandchildren in the Chinese culture. Or at least that is what another Chinese girl has told me).
I’m well aware of the amount of work and time a baby needs. I was a nanny for a baby for a year and have been through just about it all. While I got to go home in the evening, I did hear all about it in the morning and have no clouded judgement that having a child is just one big walk in the park, full of baby coos and giggles, clean diapers, and dry noses! This baby also had colic. While I wasn’t his nanny until just after he got over it, I do know how much stress it puts on even the most caring and devoted parents!
I should also add. When I was 17, my siblings and I were playing the “what if” game with my mom, “what if I get put in jail” “what if I stole your car” etc, and one was the “what if I got pregnant” and my mom told me that if I ended up pregnant, she thought I would be able to manage, though she did not feel the same about my brother who is close in age.
Idk, I guess those are some of the big things atm. No current debt, no strenuous job, and good timing, age wise.
Any thoughts? I’m perfectly content to be told it’s a bad idea… I’ve just got a really bad case of baby rabies atm and it has NEVER been like this before…
(I am also fully aware that this is only something Mr. Joe and I can decide for ourselves, but if anyone has any input, I’d be happy to hear it!)