Post # 1
I’ll try not to make this too long. I just want to see some opinions or thoughts from others. I’m 25, my boyfriend is 24, soon to be 25 in April. We’ve been together for 1.5 years, and living together since July 2017. We’ve spoken about marriage casually pretty much ever since we moved in together. Several months ago, I decided to tell him about my desired timeline, to see where he stood with it. I told him I’d like to be seriously thinking about children within the next 2-3 years, and that I’d like to of course be married before trying to get pregnant. He agreed with that timeline, and said it sounded reasonable as long as I was about done with college and stuff.
But he’s a little different. He said he wants me to propose to him because he feels like he intitiated everything else, from asking me out on our first date to being the first one to say “I love you”. At first I protested, because I’ve always wanted to be proposed to, and I told him I’d never have the guts to do it because of a previous relationship that ended poorly. My ex boyfriend dropped a bomb on me after 5 years together that he never wanted to get married o have kids and I had to leave because that wasn’t in the cards for me. But he had always said he felt like I was forcing him into marriage because I wanted him to commit after 5 years together and I was worried my current boyfriend would feel the same way if I tried to initiate moving forward. He told me that he would be ready when I was ready, and that he wanted me to ask him because he would then feel like it was what I really wanted instead of him initiating everything and me just going along with it. He then suggested that we each propose to each other, so that way I would still get the proposal I wanted, but the catch is I have to do mine first.
So that’s why I’m here. I really think I want to do this, since we came up with a compromise that works for both of us. I just don’t know how. Even in today’s world women proposing to men isn’t very common. There’s also a part of my brain that is still trying to convine me not to rush things, but the other part is saying I love him, I want this, and there’s no such thing as too early if he already said the timing was up to me. I also don’t want to think he has only told me what he thinks I want to hear, since he doesnt shy away from the conversation and he has been cracking “jokes” about me proposing to him dating all the way back to last summer. My family has assured me that they think he’s trying to tell me that he does want to get married.
If any of you have any suggestions, advice, personal stories to help me figure out what the right move is, please share! I’d love to hear it all.
Post # 2
I don’t really like that there’s a “catch” to you guys getting engaged, but if you’re both ready to take this next step – then go ahead and propose! It’s 2018. Women can propose too!!
Post # 3
If he wants you to do it I think you should go for it! or maybe some sort of compromise where you both do it? I
Post # 4
There was a bee that proposed back to her fiance with a Harry Potter scavenger hunt. Not sure what your boyfriend likes, but I thought it was a super sweet and thoughtful proposal. Here’s the link to it!
It happened! Proposal and Harry Potter counter proposal SUCCESS!
Post # 5
that’s what we compromised on in a discussion we had last week. He wants me to ask first to settle down some of his insecurities, and then he said he will plan a proposal for me.
Post # 6
propose to him! Make it as romantic or low key as you’d like. Unlike most of the ladies on here, you will actually know when and how the proposal will happen.
Post # 7
I proposed to my fiance. We had discussed marriage and I told him that if he was ok with it, I’d like to ask him. It was a similar reason as your boyfriend’s – my fiance had asked me out and said “I love you” first. I wanted him to have a moment like that: where he was the one being pursued and I was the one showing my feelings first and “risking” rejection. We had already agreed that marriage was in the cards and even decided on a general time for the proposal. We just had to do it.
I took a scrap book that we kept and added a page at the end with a little rhyme saying that I proposed and leaving a blank spot for his answer. Then I sat him down and we went through it. When we got to the last page I got down on one knee and took over reading. It wasn’t big or elaborate, but it fit our relationship and it made my guy cry.
Don’t feel pressured to do something grand. Find something that works for your relationship. It sounds like he wants to marry you, but doesn’t want to feel like he’s pressuring you. Since it seems your boyfriend has some insecurities about being the one to always move the relationship forward, maybe do something where you can tell him all the reasons you love him and you want to spend your life with him?
Post # 8
How exciting! It’s not the same because it won’t “count” but I bought my BF a ring as part of an inside joke and plan to do a sweet, low key, mini-proposal with it. I’ll give him the spiel about how much I love him and want to spend my life with him. He’s proposing to me within the next couple weeks, so the timing works too.
Post # 9
Sounds very reasonable to me, there’s no need to rush but it sounds like you’re both pretty much ready whenever. What about waiting to do it on your 2 year anniversary?
As for ideas, it wouldn’t be any different to a man proposing, so there’s heaps of ideas out there…
Post # 10
I just proposed to my fiance on our one year anniversary…we both wanted to wait until at least a year and he was having a hard time figuring out how to propose and make it a surprise when we had rings and I was expecting it. So on our anniversary I proposed and I had bought a ring box for his ring and everything. I was going to take him to some gardens, but the weather was god awful and so I proposed in bed lol. But he really loved it. It took a lot of pressure off of him.
Post # 11
If you both want to get engaged… by all means propose!!! I totally would have, but my Fiance wanted the traditional proposal.
So, three weeks later, I re-proposed to him! I asked him to marry me and gave him a ring. He cried and said he coudnt wait to call me his wife, and that he was so excited to have a true partner in life. Our relationship is equal and communicative and modern. I’m so proud.