(Closed) I think I’m a bridezilla…

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

1) Pick a weekend for your wedding and let her know.

2) Order the 6 and let her deal with it!


Good luck!

Post # 4
8351 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I don’t think you are being a bridezilla at all. It is not your fault that Bridesmaid or Best Man1 is dragging her feet. You have given her the opportunity to pick her date more than once. I think you should just go ahead with yours and she can pick after you.

As for the other one, if you are confident that the dress will fit, go ahead and order it that way. Just be sure you are ordering it in the biggest size for her measurements. It could fit well in some areas and be way to small or way to big in others.

Post # 5
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I’ll respond to the bridesmaids issue first: let your bridesmaids order a size larger than you think they need, as long as they’re prepared to shoulder the costs of alterations. A good tailor will be able to make anything fit, as long as it isn’t a tremendous difference (and even then they’ll still be able to make it fit, it’s just that the proportions won’t look perfect.) If it makes your BMs feel better to order the larger size, then they should. I had one Bridesmaid or Best Man who gave me her measurements as taken by a friend (instead of a tailor) and they were way too large. When her dress came, it looked like a tent on her. One trip to the tailor and a few weeks later, it fit perfectly and she looked beautiful.

As for your friend who’s getting married, I think you should simply ask her whether she minds if you get married before her, or if she’d prefer you get married after her. Then just go ahead and pick your date assuming she’ll have her wedding in October. I assume your concern is that your weddings will end up on the same weekend, and you can easily avoid that by picking a date that isn’t in October – and then immediately letting her know, so that she doesn’t pick the same date. It’s a good idea to stop harrassing her about picking a date, because she’s probably getting stressed and annoyed, but it is nice of you to consider her feelings when picking your own wedding date. Try phrasing it that way to her – “We think we’re going to pick September 17th, do you think that will work okay for you guys?”

Post # 6
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you’re being really considerate to your friend to let her pick her date first, you’ve given her plenty of time, so I think you’re fine to plan your date for September, or since you seem so concerned, give her the heads up that you’re going to go ahead and plan your date for September then if she doesn’t mind, since she hasn’t picked a date yet, and you want to get the ball rolling with yours.

As for the dress, let the bridesmaid choose what size she wants, if its huge, thats her problem after, you did advise her.  She’ll just have to get it altered.

Post # 7
4499 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ok, none of this is bridezilla-ish. 

1) It’s nice of you to wait for your friend to set her date, but if you’re ready to pick a date, you should just go ahead and do it. She just might operate on a different timetable from you. We didn’t set our date till 3.5 months before the wedding–but I realize that would drive some people crazy. Just plan your day the way you want to.

2) The only reason I wouldn’t order the 4 is that if it doesn’t fit Bridesmaid or Best Man2, she’ll be annoyed that you didn’t just get the size she asked for. But if you’re SURE that the dresses run really big, and you want to order her the 4, go ahead and do it only if you’re willing to buy her a size 6 or 8 out of your own pocket if the 4 doesn’t work. That seems fair to me. I understand that you’re just trying to help her out by ordering the 4.

Post # 8
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

1.  I think as long as you tell your friend what you are planning on doing, there shouldn’t be a problem. You are a year out so you both should really be booking at least your venue.  You gave her the opportunity to pick first and she won’t so just tell her you looked at such and such venue and they have this date open and you are going to book it if that is cool with her.

2.  If you told her about Bridesmaid or Best Man3’s experience and she is unconvinced, just remind her that she may have to pay more for the alterations and order the size she wants.  There will be more than enough time for her to get it taken in (as long as she is perpared to pay for it.) The only other option I can think of is to arrange a phone call with the Bridesmaid or Best Man and the bridal shop salesperson so he/she can explain the sizing.  Your friend may be more likely to take advice from the ‘expert.’

Good luck!

Post # 9
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@anon: on 1. youre not a bridezilla at all… infact your over nice… maybe im the bridezilla… but if your friend cant accept the fact that you offered to let her pick her date first and just do it already then SORRY she loses, pick your date other wise youre gunna lose out becuase you were trying to nice. If shes not ready to set a date, then all she has to do is say ” I appreciate you allowing me to choose first, but were not ready… go head and do what you need to do”

Moving on to crazy bridesmaidzilla… order her whatever size dress she feels like and when it doesnt fit and she starts bitching that they cant alter the dress that much blah blah blah… tell her you offered to order her a smaller size, and you dont want to hear another word about it… cut and dry.. youre definitely not a bridezilla…

Post # 11
5385 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

You are not being a bridezilla. You are being very considerate to your friend. I think you should pick a date and tell her which date you picked. Since she said Oct. then I would go with Sept.

I would let your Bridesmaid or Best Man order the size she wants.

Post # 12
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t se any bridezilla in this at all. Pick your Date! You have been more than nice about the situation. And I would order the dress in the size your Bridesmaid or Best Man wants and let her deal with it. There is only so much energy you can spend on certain things. Good Luck!

Post # 13
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

seriously don’t let what other people do affect your plans so much!  It’s an important day for you and Fiance and your families.  Friends are important but you’ve given her enough time. 

1. do what you want – pick a date.

2. do what you want – she’s an adult let her do whatever she wants, she can deal. atleast you tried!

Post # 14
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Pick a date and don’t worry about. You don’t need to worry your friend, further worrying yourself about her picking a date.

Also, pick the size the size that the bridesmaid wants. Ultimately she is the one who is wearing the dress, so let her deal with it if its too big.

Post # 15
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

1. I agree that you’ve done what you can; just pick a date and let her know.  

2. While I definitely understand how tempting it is to order the smaller size, I’d order the one your bridesmaid wants!  Even if it’s huge on her, she can get it altered closer to the date!  Who knows, she might also want a bigger size because she is worried about weight changes between now and then too!  (A couple of my bridesmaids ordered up a size because their weights can fluctuate, especially over a year.)

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