Post # 1
I joined a long time ago but I don’t post often because I’m not engaged and I try to not visit this website often because it makes me focus on the fact that I’m not engaged, after 6 years.
Annnyyyywayyy, I have many friends and family members who have been with their significant others less than I have been with my SO and have gotten engaged and even married before me and I have been genuinely and sincerely happy for them. It never made me feel bad about my situation or want to puch marriage.
Fast forward to today, my cousin got engaged. His now Fiance had been looking for awhile. And when they announced it I felt…sad. It’s awful, I am SOOO happy they are getting married and she will be officially part of my family because she is one of my best friends but for some reason now it makes me think of how I am not engaged. Me and my SO went on vacation and we looked at rings during vacation and he mentioned we could get engaged while there, but we didn’t find anything we liked so it didn’t happen. Now he acts like he doesn’t want to hear about it and says people are pressuring him.
I don’t care if no one responds, I just needed to vent. I want to celebrate and just be happy for my cousin and his amazing Fiance but I am sad for myself and it makes me feel like I am a horrible person…
Post # 3
I know what you mean. Fiance and I were dating for 7.5 years until he finally proposed. It does suck watching everyone else become engaged but it will happen. I had to sit my Fiance down and have a serious convo about whether or not marriage was what he wanted. I kinda sorta gave him a timeline for peace of mind and for my sanity.
I understand what you mean when you say he doesn’t want to hear about it. I felt like if anyone said the words “ring”, “wedding”, “propose” or “engagement”, my Fiance would act weird.
Dont feel discouraged but if it makes you feel better, talk to him about it when you know he will be most willing to listen And the pressure is off.
Post # 4
You can’t control your feelings — you’re not a horrible person for experiencing a twinge of disappointment when they announced their news.
However, you can control your reaction to the news. I wouldn’t use this information to try to pressure your boyfriend. If you’re really feeling like you want to vent in person, call up a close girlfriend to go shopping or on a coffee date.
All of us here in the hive know it’s hard to wait, but pressuring your boyfriend before he’s ready is just going to lead to hurt feelings and a strain on your relationship.
Post # 5
I’m not the pressuring type. We talk about marriage and he knows that I want to be engaged, but I am not the type to ever push him into it. I almost never mention engagement. I do get annoyed sometimes because I don’t like not knowing things and having little to no control, ha, but I would never ever want to know I pressured him.
I’m goning to see them next weekend so I’m goning to get my venting out before that. I really do want to celebrate and share their joy. I’ve never had this reaction, it;s caught me off guard I guess.