Post # 1
Member
23 posts
Newbee
so there’s this girl that I don’t know know, but I’ve known of her and we have mutual friends and FI knows her husband. And we’re all the same ages (early twenties) But went to different schools. I was on my instagram months back and I went to the page or whatever it is where it shows you pictures of people you may know or have interest in and I just saw a picture of hers and then just went into all her pictures out of curiosity. she had gotten engaged and the ring is GORGEOUS. So i would go back to look at it a lot because I was kinda obsessed with it before i had gotten my own. Then she was planning her wedding and I got interested in it again because it seemed like how I would want My wedding to be. So every now and then I go to her profile and just look and see what she’s up to. We have a very similar taste and style And kind of wished I had her life or think we’d at least be bffs. (weird side note, but her hubby and her bought the house that we were actually looking at to buy right before them. Which Is also crazy) But now she’s just announced she’s pregnant and did like a super cute announcement and I got really jealous and kind of cried about it. then I just immediately snapped out of it and literally out loud and said wtf? (I just so desperately want to get married and have little babies in the very near future) Does anybody else, like, do this? Or am I just top level creeper status over here?
Post # 2
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
FuturemrsMits: Comparing yourself is not good OP, looks what it’s doing to you. Plus, you don’t know what her life is REALLY like. Sometimes social media is just an outlet and it only gives an appearance that someone may have “the good life.” If needed, block her or take yourself off IG so you don’t feel compelled to compare. Focus on what you have, be thankful and enjoy the real life.
Post # 3
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
I’ll get looking at some old friends from high school or college that I haven’t talked to in years, just to check in on how life is, but I don’t usually look at people I don’t know too much. If it’s a new SO to a friend I check them out really quick sometimes but then I usually never go back. I don’t know if this is weird – curiosity is natural. But if her life is in anyway making you feel sad about yours, or its stressing you out that is a problem. Maybe you need to block her to stop yourself? I would hate for you to be stressed about the life of someone you don’t know! The social media generation is so awful with this- remember if you feel bad that nobody is as perfect as what they post. Obviously nobody posts the bad stuff. I’d stick to pinterest to look at rings and baby announcements,too. The separation from reality may help a lot!!
Post # 4
Member
2665 posts
Sugar bee
There are two types of people in this world: people who stalk other people on social media and liars.
EVERYONE does this–comparison is a natural inclination with social media.
That doesn’t mean it’s always healthy, though. For one, most people don’t “share” their lives on social media; they advertise their lives. Most people are only showing you the highlights (which you should be thankful for, because you don’t want the actual reality), usually filtered and framed and cleverly captioned. Which is fine for people to do, but it does create an unrealistic picture of life and happiness. Your own life probably would look pretty sweet on Instagram–you’re young, in love, and engaged, for starters–but you know that your life also (probably) involves boring bits and difficulties and insecurities that most of us also have ourselves.
Social media is really never about the person you’re stalking; it’s about some fantasy they are representing that is attractive to you for some reason. I mean, I’ve stalked people I knew in HS that I don’t care about at all, but for some reason, something about their life triggered me. Sometimes that fantasy reminds you of things you don’t have yourself (in your case, a baby), which can make it hard to appreciate what you DO have.
So if I were you, I’d remind myself that whatever you’re looking at on Instagram probably isn’t the whole story–and that’s not intended in a mean way of trashing someone to make yourself feel better–it’s just a basic reality. I have a baby and plenty of lovely Instagram pictures that captured moments that really WERE fantastic and magical and all that–but they were moments. I also remember the exhaustion, the weight gain, the breast infections, the stress, the messy house, the loss of spotaneity etc. etc. that also go along with a baby. The other half of it is to also do some self-reflection and figure out how you can be more present in the life you’re living NOW, as opposed to things you want in the future.
Post # 5
Member
2460 posts
Buzzing bee
There could very well be someone feeling this way about you! The point is, be thankful for what you have. Comparison is the thief of joy!
