(Closed) I think im done…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1378 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Sweetheart, please get out of this relationship. This is emotional abuse starting to include physical abuse. No one should ever shove you, raise a hand to you, throw public scenes, insult you, belittle you, or make you feel inferior. You should not be scared to be by the person who is supposed to protect you and love you. This is a toxic relationship. 


You are not a complete failure, nor would you be if/when you leave him. You are worth so, so much more than what he is willing to give you. 


Please get somewhere safe, and keep us updated. Stay strong! *internet hugs*

Post # 3
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I really want to say it’s time to go. Get your stuff and run as fast and as far as you can. His mother’s behavior is no excuse for him to treat you like a doormat. What made you fall for him. Hunny we cant change these men. Only God can. The logical thing to say is counseling, but I say Good riddance. Oh and him hiding your keys is against the law you call the police and show them the table he threw. If your family cared, they wouldnt want you in that mess.

Post # 4
277 posts
Helper bee

Honey, leave. I have been there. It’s scary to leave. And yeah, I felt like I’d failed. But it was sooo worth it in the long run. It will be hard and sad but it’ll be so much better sooner than you may think. It sounds like you two don’t have children, but imagine your son or daughter being in the middle of that  How would you feel? My ex didn’t want me to work, either. It’s a control thing. You don’t need that. Move on. I promise you won’t regret it. The good news is you know what to look for in a man now, the warning signs and the good signs. 

Post # 5
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Sadbee7:  I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Your husband is abusive (physically, emotionally) and you need to get away from him. To hell with what anyone else thinks, you deserve so much better. I suggest making an exit plan now.

Post # 6
6106 posts
Bee Keeper

Sadbee7:  Is there anyone who can help you get your stuff out and your keys to your car?  I would call in favors as much as you can to get out of this relationship and get a divorce.  No one deserves to be treated like this.  He also sounds like he may physically hurt you the next time.  Please get out of this relationship.  I’m sorry you are being treated this way.

Post # 7
1553 posts
Bumble bee

There are so many types of abuse, and your story definitely falls into that spectrum.

There is no shame in leaving an abusive relationship. Just surround yourself with those who care about you, get your ducks in a row, and do what you need to do.

Good luck.

Post # 8
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sadbee7:  you poor bee. Your husband sounds like an immature, abusive, cruel, impulsive little shit. Sorry to be so rude, but it makes me mad to think of anyone treating another human being like how you’ve described. I can’t believe that story about how he asked to go shopping with you, then got tired and demanded you take him home without shopping. Is he a TODDLER?! I’m sorry, but adults simply dont behave that way toward people they respect. Your husband obviously does not respect you, and no one deserves to be yoked to someone who disrespects and physically dominates them. I hope you leave this sorry excuse for a man, much less husband, and start a new life. I wish you luck And strength!!!

Post # 9
139 posts
Blushing bee

Sadbee7:  Let me guess. When he’s good, he’s really good? But when he’s bad…

My dear, it is NEVER too late to leave. You deserve to find someone who respects you always. And even if it takes you awhile to find that person, I assure you that you will still feel 1000000x better just being out of that toxic relationship. You will probably hesitate the longer you wait. You will start blaming yourself. You will feel like if only you could change yourself, he wouldn’t get so bad and everything would be fine. BUT IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. He clearly has anger issues and handles conflicts like a 2 year old. You cannot fix him. Leave now.

Post # 10
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Wow what a total immature bully. Leave right now and he can make his own dinners and do his own shopping. Just think could life actually be worse on your own?

Probably not so don’t sit around and wait for things to get worse. I am positive he will come and beg for forgiveness with empty promises like all abusers do but show him that you have more self worth than that and block all contact and kick him from your life. I guarantee give it 2 years and you will look back on him in horror and be so grateful with your new, happy life!

Post # 11
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


The longer you stay with this man, the harder it will be to put your life back together when you walk away. Being in an abusive relationship wears down your self esteem. I was in one for two years in my early twenties. 

I think you know what you need to do. 

Post # 12
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I hope you don’t mind, but since you went Anon I showed this to my partner. 

From a male perspective he said you need to get away as quick as you can, his controlling ways are not normal. He said the emotional abuse that has escalated into physical is alarming but the keys situation is definitely another warning sign. He is trying to keep you and own you, he said that is scary for him as a man. He wants to own you, but bolting the door will make you think that he doesn’t care if you leave but really he does. 

He said run anywhere, it will escalate into if he can’t have you than no one can, even though there is no other man. 

Post # 13
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

It’s not too late To still have the wonderful life you deserve. That life isn’t with him. This time, you need to listen to your inner voice and LEAVE. It will be hard but think of the alternative – living this way for the rest of your life.

Post # 14
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

If you contact the police, they may be able to send someone with you as an escort while you collect your belongings. But either way, your husband has no legal right to force you out of your home or keep you from your belongings. Please get your things and find someone you can stay with. There is nothing worth saving in this relationship, regardless of time spent. I’m sorry you are in this situation…be safe!

Post # 15
9641 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I didn’t have to read your entire post to realize that you’re married to an abuser.  Been there myself.  Do you have a local DV facility that can help you make a plan to get out safely?

Getting out is your only option.  They don’t get better.

And NO couples’ counseling–it’s dangerous.  Individual counseling for you a must.  Be sure to find a counselor who understands abuse.

Be careful, don’t try to escape him all on your own.  But, escape you must.


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