- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Next week will be the end of our ninth month TTC. I know there are a lot of women on here who have been TTC’ing so much longer than me, and who have already been through testing, and IVFs, and MCs, so please don’t think I’m trying to compare, because I recognize there are a lot of ladies here who have had a much harder road than me.
That being said, I have essentially given up hope. I genuinely don’t think this is in the cards for us. I always had a bad gut feeling it would take us a long time to TTC, and now that it’s happening, I’m just so fucking tired. I have stopped temping and using OPKs, because I know I ovulate, and it was too much pressure. We BD in my FW several times every month, and nada, zilch. Just a whole lot of nothing.
Next week we’re going to see a fertility specialist. I’ve already had bloodwork, and ultrasounds, all of which have confirmed that everything is working as it should to their knowledge.
I just…I have no hope. I don’t think the Dr is going to do be able to do anything. And I’m not even sure i want him to. I don’t think I can handle another year of trying to get pregnant. At this point, I feel like all the joy of getting pregnant is totally gone for me, and I don’t even feel like I really know what I’m fighting for anymore. And I’ve given up hope that we’ll have the big family we always wanted…the idea of doing this whole thing even once more is just not happening.
Has anyone else felt this way?