(Closed) I think I'm done TTC.

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
2019 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

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sara_tiara:  I’m not on this road but everything you mentioned was about you… Has he been checked? I’m so sorry it’s been this long with no results. I hate to hear about deserving couples who haven’t been blessed. Best of luck and maybe if you stop paying attention it’ll just happen for you guys.

*Big hugs*

Post # 3
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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sara_tiara:  We haven’t been trying for as long, we’re currently on a rest cycle after I had a MMC, my second MC in a row.  I didn’t think that five months after we started TTC (7 months in total 2 months NTNP) we’d still be trying.  For me I feel like the joy of this has been completely taken away.  When I get pregnant again there is no excitment in it for me to see the BFP, just worry and stress that I will have another MC.  The doctor’s keep telling me to stay positive and that I’m able to get pregnant which is a good sign but I’m actually super stressed that I will have another MC and will need to go for fertility testing.  There are MANY days where I think it’s just not worth it and just as many that I think I’m ready to try again and want to get the show on the road.  I don’t think people really talk about how stressful TTC is.  I find my friends who had no problem conceiving talk about it like it’s nothing and my friends who have had some challenges don’t talk about it at all.

Post # 4
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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sara_tiara:  Awww hun, you’re not alone. I’m nearing the end of my 9th cycle and alas, my temps are dropping, so going onto our 10th. I know exactly how you feel. It’s frustrating each month to know it isn’t working and you have to do everything over the next month, when in the back of your head you think nothing is going to change it. You’re doing the same exact thing, BDing in FW. I hope you have some luck with the RE next week and hopefully you will have a better outlook. For people where it takes a while, TTC is not fun. At least for me it isn’t! I’m tired of the ups and downs as I’m sure you are too. Just remember you aren’t alone and we are here for you whenever you need to vent. ((Hugs))

Post # 5
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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sara_tiara:  I just wanted to let you know that after 11 months of trying (charting and very well timed BD), with basic testing showing no problems, I finally got pregnant.  I don’t know why it took so long, but sometimes it just does.  Don’t give up hope so quickly, I understand the frustration, but just wanted to say that whatever you decide to do I wish peace and happiness for you.

Post # 6
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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sara_tiara:  I totally understand how you feel. We are on our 10th cycle ttc this month. It’s so much more difficult and exhausting and discouraging than I expected. Each month I am so optimistic and with one stupid act of peeing on a stupid stick it’s back to the discouragement again. 

So I don’t have any advice, but know that you aren’t alone.

Post # 7
Member
2570 posts
Sugar bee

You always hear about those women who take a break and thats when they get pregnant. Maybe a break would help you relax, then who knows? Wishing you and your husband luck!

Post # 8
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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sara_tiara:  we have been trying as long as well. I never thought it would take this long. My heart sank yesterday when the doctor called to tell me I’m being diagnosed with unexplained infertility. 

It sucks.

my only words of hope is that you guys had tests and they were normal like ours. So it’ll happen one day. Not according to our timeline. We wanted a big family too,  but at this point I will be so grateful for one. 

Just keep doing what you’re doing,  and I hope the specialist works for you two. I’m waiting on my referral so we can at least have a consultation. 

Post # 9
Member
3751 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You are certainly not alone, many of us have been there. It took me 18 cycles and there were many days I just wanted to say forget it. Stopping temping and OPKs I think is a good start if you know you are ovulating and it’s just adding stress. Nothing wrong at all with just taking a break to get some of your sanity back, TTC is hard!!

Post # 10
Member
207 posts
Helper bee

I know how you feel. I am on my secondmm cycle of not TTC. I’m taking a break. I don’t know how ong I plan on taking this break but I suspect I will go back to tryinginthe next 6 mo. or so. You are allowed to take a break or give up. I’m using my break to ome to terms with the idea that I may never be a parent (I won’t do IVF and I don’t know if we can adopt).

Do what you need to do for you. Take some time to live without worrying about it.

Post # 11
Member
3562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Stop staring down that rabbit hole.  🙂

I feel this way at least once a cycle, and currently I’ve accepted the fact that I can’t control this crap, and it’ll happen when it happens.  Hoping your appt goes well and perhaps you’ll get some answers! 

Post # 12
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

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sara_tiara:  OP, I know how you feel. I was in the same boat as you. It took us 16 cycles to conceive… And guess what? It happened when we put everything to rest and just relaxed.

Unfortunately, Just less than 2 weeks after getting our BFP, we also got the news we will miscarry. So now I have to wait for the low heartbeat to completely stop (sometime in the next few days-weeks).

TTC is extremely difficult. It’s mentally painful. Especially when nothing is wrong and it’s just not happening. The continuous thought of “what’s wrong with me/us?” “Why is it not happening for us?” Especially after seeing so many people who don’t plan for a pregnancy and it just happens for them.

I hope that you can find happiness in you hobbies, DH, and family/friends. Take time to enjoy what you have in your life now. Maybe putting your mind else where and letting nature take its course will help to keep you positive and get you your BFP. Wishing you the peace of mind and hope you get your BFP soon. 

Post # 13
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I can remember feeling exactly like this! I had bloods done at month 7 and they confirmed I ovulated and that everything was, in theory, just fine! I really pushed the doctor to do something (and I’m in the UK so everything is on the NHS and we have to get referrals, etc) so my doctor referred me to a gynaecologist because I was getting some irregular bleeding and to look into fertility issues. My husband also had a semen analysis done. At my appointment in May with the hospital I had to get a biopsy and some other stuff, and one of my husband’s semen analysis results came back as abnormal. (You can see all my posts about it on here!) But the doctor at the hospital told us to keep trying and if we hadn’t got pregnant by November, we’d go back and start on fertility drugs. Well that month we didn’t try, because I was feeling exactly like you, and I just didn’t think there was any point. Of course, that was the month we got pregnant! I am now 35+5 with a little boy!

I told you all this because it’s completely and utterly normal to feel like everyone else gets pregnant at the drop of a hat except you. I spent SO MUCH time worrying and crying and being convinced everything was all wrong. It took us 11 cycles in the end. It’s normal for people to take that long to get pregnant! I know lots of bees on here that took more than a year and there’s nothing wrong with them, either! Please try not to worry until you have to. There’s a HUGE chance you’ll conceive naturally! Your results are all good, and I bet if your husband hasn’t already been tested, he’s fine too. I wish you all the luck in the world!

Post # 15
Member
15203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think a ton of people have that gut feeling it’s going to take forever, probably just as a self protection mechanism in case it does take a while.  Time doesn’t stop for you though, so even if you dont think you can “take” another year of TTC, you’ll just have to face it and take it a day at a time unless you truely give up and are ok with not having children.  If you’re not, it will jsut always be in the back of your mind.  We’re going on 28 months, oral drug, IUI, in the second round of IVF.  Were there days I just threw my hands up in the air and said what the fuck, forget it, it’ll never happen for us anyways so why bother?  Yea, but then time doesn’t stop, so you take it a day at a time and figure out what you want to do next.

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