(Closed) I think I'm done TTC.

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
Member
3664 posts
Sugar bee

You know when your not trying and stressing about it ..thats when it will happen

Post # 18
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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sara_tiara:  I second MissCountryGirl727! Stop staring down that rabbit hole! You’ve come so close to getting some answers. Today is just a bad day and it shall pass. I have no doubts that you will have a beautiful baby soon. I know living in two week incrementals blows, but you’ve got this! You are stronger than you know. Hugs. 

Post # 19
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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sara_tiara:  Yup, totally 100% remember that feeling. Husband’s best friend and best man at our wedding started TTC the same month as us. Guess when they got pregnant? First. Damn. Month. I was so jealous. I felt like such a terrible person (who gets jealous over a pregnancy and a baby? Umm..me) and couldn’t bear to look at her. Our neighbours announced their pregnancy just as I got biopsy done at the hospital. And everyone at work was pregnant or having a baby too. I was literally brokenhearted for those entire 10-11 months! I had a real gut feeling it would never ever happen for us. We’d never be parents, etc etc. I used to get so p****d off when people told me to relax, it happens when you stop trying, but for us..I hate to say it..it did 

The funny thing is that although it took us that long to get pregnant, when we did, we were actually expecting twins. Unfortunately we lost one at around 6-7 weeks, but there’s no reason why we’d have no luck for 10 months and then get pregnant with TWO babies on month 11. 

Bodies are weird! Minds are even weirder. I definitely think your mental state has a lot to answer for when TTC. When you get your BFP, it will be worth the wait, I promise! 

Post # 20
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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vhenke1:  I apologize in advance if this comes off bitchy, and I know you were trying to be sweet and helpful, but for future reference, that is on the top of a TTC’ers list of least helpful things they can hear. 

 

Post # 21
Member
3562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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vhenke1: I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume you have never been struggling with TTC.   Because if you had, you’d know that that statement (no matter how well-meaning you intended it to be) is probably one of the most annoying statements someone struggling with TTC will hear.  

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to rag on you specifically, but as someone who is struggling with TTC/infertility, it’s pretty much like saying “Hey, you’re at fault, you can’t get pregnant because you want it too much.” 

 

Post # 22
Member
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

As soon as I read the title, I said “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”  I didn’t read any of the other responses, but I’d like to share my story so hopefully it gives you some hope for the future.

(There’s a bit of a back story, so bare with me!)  DH and I got married in October 2011.  We have been trying every.single.month since then.  I promised myself I would never give up.  In August of 2013, we were flying home from a 2 week vacation…we were about 30 minutes from landing, and my husband got up to go to the washroom.  Minutes later, the flight attendant came on the intercom and asked if there were any medical professionals on board.  Me being nosy, and not putting two and two together, I look down the aisle to the front of the plane and see my husband’s plaid shirt on the ground.  I think I screamed and threw all my stuff on the floor and ran to the front and fell to my knees by his side.  I obviously didn’t know what happened, but luckily there were 2 doctors and a nurse on board, and they were already up there.  DH was awake, but had no recollection of what just happened and didn’t know where he was.  Apparently he was standing, waiting for the washroom, and he just fainted.  Anyway, the paramedics were waiting for him when we landed and took him to the hospital.  We ended up being there until about 3am while they ran tests, but they couldn’t find anything, said he was fine and sent us home.  During that time, my stomach was in extreme pain, so I just thought I was hungry since it had been about 12 hours since I’d eaten.

For some reason, when I got up in the morning, I decided to take a pregnancy test because I realized I hadn’t had AF in a while.  It was positive!!!  After one of the scariest nights of our lives, it was the best, most exciting news of our lives.  It was one of those tests that tell you how many weeks you were, and it said I was 7+.  We couldn’t believe it!  Almost 2 years of trying, HSG testing, acupuncture, gyno appointments, being “diagnosed with PCOS”, it finally happened!  We were beside ourselves.  We went for lunch to celebrate and when I went to pee, my world fell apart.  I miscarried.  5 hours after we find out we’re having a baby, the dream is already over.  Back to the hospital we went for the second time in 12 hours.  I still tear up thinking about it.  But we decide that we’ll continue trying because now we know it’s possible to get pregnant!  We made some huge life changes and move forward, making new goals for ourselves.

Anyway, here we are.  On December 19th, I found out I was pregnant again, another 16 months after the MC.  It hasn’t sunk in yet.  I haven’t had an US, I don’t have many symtoms, I’m terrified.  But I’m not giving up hope.  It has been an extremely emotional road, but DH and I have continued to dream that we will be parents, one way or another. 

Trust me, I know how hard it is, the waiting, the constant frustration.  But if this is a dream of you and your DH’s, please do not give up hope.  If you want to chat more, I’d be happy to!  Good luck.

Post # 23
Member
3562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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alove31:  ahhhh…our hormones must be in sync today. lol 

Post # 24
Member
7308 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

You are allowed to have bad days. Hell, you are allowed to have bad weeks, and even bad months. Feel how you feel. It’s totally normal and understandable. Just remember that you are strong enough to handle what needs to be handled, decide what needs to be decided, and do what needs to be done. No matter what your path is, you are strong enough to get through, and you are strong enough to find joy no matter what. I’m so sorry that you are hurting. I’m sending lots of good vibes and wishes for you to find your peace, whatever form it takes. Good luck!

Post # 25
Member
15203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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alove31:  
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MissCountryGirl727:  You guys are too nice.  I’m sitting here not responding to that cause my head’s just thinking ‘just stfu cause that line is the biggest piece of bullshit i’ve read all day’ plus a fe wother choice words.

Post # 26
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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MissCountryGirl727:  Haha, yes. Mid TWW and staring down the barrel of an appointment with an RE gets my gears grinding 🙂

Post # 27
Member
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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sara_tiara:  I felt this way more than once.  I lost hope countless times and so did DH.  It’s FOR SURE the hardest challenge I ever had to face with DH, even undergoing testing was frustrating and just felt like “okay if everything is working fine with us then WTF!!!”  We underwent 3 IUIs with the last one being our lucky star and finally getting our precious boy.  Hang in there, lady, it will happen for you.  This fight isnt over and you can do it!  However, if you think that maybe a break will help you, then talk to DH and take a break of TTC.  I wish all the luck 🙂

Post # 28
Member
3562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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pinkshoes:  Luckily the brain-to-keyboard filter is working today. lol 

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alove31:  Oh I see! Good luck with the RE hun! 

Post # 29
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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sara_tiara:  Aw! I’m sorry you’re having such a rough go of it! I think taking a break from charting and OPKs sounds like it would be helpful. If you know you’re ovulating, and approximately when, you don’t really need charting and OPKs, anyway. Personally, I’ve heard so many women get so stressed out with them that I’m very hesitant to start, even though we’re 3 cycles in to TTC. I think they just amplify the pressure of TTC. I hope that a more relaxed approach helps. Maybe take up a project to help give yourself something else to focus on? I’m putting together a photo album from our honeymoon and I find that really helpful at distracting me! I don’t know that there’s much else that I can say, other than offering support!

Post # 30
Member
3664 posts
Sugar bee

One thing that is helpful dont just try around when you oulvating do it other days and few days before its that time  , sperm can live few days . Its a lot easier this way to . 

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MissCountryGirl727:  
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alove31:  lol you guys arent being a bitch lol . I understand how it sounds   . But yes im just trying to say is , the more stress and pressure you put on your self the harder it is on you . I know trying for a baby is stressful so make it fun keep the romantic in it even if you dont get a baby out of it so at the end your not dissatisfied that you didnt get ababy or you think there something wrong with you . everyone different . I know , I had little trouble for my last one and high risk through out whole pergo I had preclamie sorry I don’t know how to spell that word . It was hard just being pregnant . just give it time . Swear it will happen even if doesnt you can adopt a baby or have someone carry it for you . Just relax  dont just give up. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Profile Photo Spiritway11.

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