(Closed) I think I’m easy going but am I out of line for thinking this is pushing it?

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Whew!  That is cutting it close.  Yes…that would make me uneasy too, but I think you need to trust her and hope for the best.  There really isn’t much else to do since it is paid for and booked already!

P.S. It does sound like you are a pretty easy-going bride, so don’t stress!  Your day will be wonderful 🙂

Post # 4
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Meh, not a big deal-yeah, she’s cutting it close, but chances are that was the best price or only flight, also. She’s supposed to arrive the morning of the rehearsal. Even if she gets in that night, the rehearsal is not a biggee. Our best man missed ours because he had to work and it was totally fine. People know how to walk down the aisle in a wedding. The chance of her missing the entire wedding is pretty small. If you didn’t ask her to anything but be there that day, i don’t think you should too upset about it since she’s planning on arriving.

Post # 5
10844 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If she misses the rehearsal (or is a bit late) it’s not the end of the world. One of the other BMs can explain to her what’s going to happen, what order you’re going to do things in, etc. It’s not a super complicated job. If she were flying in 6 hours before your wedding, THEN I would be mad!

It sucks that she planned a vacation during that time, but what can you do right?!

Post # 7
5920 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

That’s cutting it close, but oh well.

My Fiance was the best man in a wedding last summer, and couldn’t get a flight home until AFTER the rehearsal.  Didn’t stress anybody out (at least not that they said!)

Post # 8
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

It’s not ideal, but like you said it’s been paid for already so there’s no changing it. I think you’re being great about it, especially making plans for a back-up speech in case she can’t make it.

Wish some of the brides that I’ve stood up with were as nice as you!

Post # 9
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If it’s any consolation, I have 2 BMs and 1 Groomsmen missing our rehearsal and dinner completely.  I’m not happy about it, but it’s really not a huge deal.  I mildly complained to my Fiance about it our flakey friends (and even wrote a post about it here on WB), but I got over it pretty fast.  As long as your friend is there for the actual wedding… that’s the most important part!  Laughing

Post # 10
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Wow, that is stressful. I can’t believe how often people don’t fully honor their responsabilities. Good for you for handling it so well! I hope things go well.

Post # 11
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

As a bridesmaid I missed a rehearsal once because I had to fly cross-country for the wedding and my flight the night before the rehearsal was cancelled.  I made it on to a flight the next day and arrived just in time for the rehearsal dinner.  I think I was more stressed about missing the rehearsal than the bride was.  But everything was totally fine.  If she does miss the rehearsal, just ask another bridesmaid to pay extra attention and to fill in her in on what she missed.  Since she’s not doing any readings or anything, likely that will just mean telling her “walk down the aisle behind so-and-so.”  And hey, maybe she’ll bring you a great souvenir from Peru! Smile 

Post # 12
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Looks like you’re taking everything in stride! Good for you! And, it looks like she’s making her best effort to be there. Things happen, so just go with the flow. Everyone else is right, it’s not the end of the world if she misses the rehearsal. Even though you’ve been easy going, which is really nice for your gal pals, you’ve set the tone and now they are probably following suite. Everything will work out! 

Post # 13
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I can understand how this would make you uneasy. My step sister is a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding and while back she was talking about going on a trip to the UK – fine, but was planning on getting back into the country on the 11th when my wedding is on the 13th…. cutting it fine! I wasn’t too concerned about delayed flights or anything but I WAS concerned about jetlag. A 23 hr flight from the UK to Australia is a big deal, and when I got back I was jetlagged for 2 days afterwards. Thankfully she decided not to go, so I don’t have to freak out (internally so as to avoid being a bridezilla – LOL) about it but I can understand why you’d be a bit edgy…

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