Post # 1
I crack myself up with these titles, haha okay on a serious note now:
1. My original 4 were completely understanding about us not having bridesmaids and still want to do my hair and makeup, shop with me for various wedding things. throw the bach and shower, and just showered me with random gifts at my dress buying. basically all the things a bridesmaid would do.
2. I had a 4 hour phone conversation with my out of town friend and she seems kind of apolagetic for refusing to wear the color bridesmaid dress I wanted and she said she’ll wear whatever ugly dress I pick lol which automatically makes me want to be more flexible on letting her pick what she wants.
3. out of town girl suggested a solution for my two in towners fighting over maid of honor. I can make one the maid of honor and one the matron of honor then they will hopefully both feel special again and not offended that I chose the other one.
I feel so much better after this 4 hour conversation. I always knew that my friends would be there at the wedding and I didn’t think the wedding party was a big deal, but maybe it is.
I know you guys said that if I do have bridesmaids, I should not ask the original four but I have to disagree. As previously posted in a not so graceful manner, our friendship is based on our blunt honesty and sometimes we piss each other off when we don’t say what we want to hear but that’s okay/good even. If it wasn’t for matron of honor saying I could get a better dress, I would have never…well…got a better dress and now I have the dress of my dreams that flatters my shape a lot more.
So my question for you is, should I just make cute little friend proprosal boxes and act as if nothing ever happened or should I do like I did with my 2 out of town girls and just be honest/explain why I was feeling overwhelmed and unsupported a year ago?
Post # 2
Honestly… yikes. Why even put yourself through more drama with the whole bridemaids thing? This whole saga sounds exhausting – dress drama, girls fighting over maid of honor… just forget the whole thing and let them attend your wedding as guests and enjoy themselves and wear whatever they want.
Post # 3
xitsperfection : Lol, what the hell did I just read?
Post # 4
Oh, also… you can’t fire and unfire people that aren’t paid. They’re your friends and they aren’t obligated to do anything at all. I know it’s semantics but it kind of reveals how you feel about them and their role.
Post # 5
Based on this post you are not mature enough for marriage.
Post # 6
I don’t even think you should ask them. You should just tell them they’re back in unless they screw up.
Post # 7
i don;t even know the story this is based on. but maid of honor refers to someone unmarried and matron of honor refers to someone who is married.
Post # 8
If I were “fired” as a bridesmaid and the bride asked me to come back, I’d probably laugh in her face.
Post # 9
Please don’t. This is so cringy.
Post # 10
this all sounds like people who are creating drama for the sake of having drama. every person in this story. you should probably not have bridesmaids.
Post # 11
Arent you already married?
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
slomotion : Come on now; they have to EARN that shit! I’m saying you don’t have TWO maids of honor YOU HAVE A CAGE MATCH TO DECLARE A WINNER. It’s like Highlander – There Can Be Only One.
xitsperfection : I get that you and your friends have a whole blunt honesty thing. Cool. Maybe you should try talking to you as if you were one of your friends. If you did you’d likely say, “Self, all that junk that made me freak out before didn’t magically get solved during one conversation. I don’t need a bridal party for everyone to be a big part of the wedding. I’ll just enjoy the rest of this experience without adding back a bunch of drama… OH WAIT I LOVE DRAMA GET THEM BRIDESMAID BOXES OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!”
At least, I assume that’s how it would go.
If you were my friend, and you tried to un-fire me, I’d try to talk you out of it. I’d tell you we are all excited for you to get married and looking forward to being there, but that the added stress and planning seemed like it wouldn’t do anything but cause more problems. That we can still do all the bridesmaidy things without actually being bridesmaids.
Just let it lie. Find other ways to make them feel included, but skip the bridal party. You’ll all be a lot less stressed out that way.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2020 - Rhodes, Greece
Why do you have to ask both to be maid of honour? There is no way I’d be asking two people, just to make them feel ‘special’. They’re adults, they need to suck it up and get on with it..
Post # 14
xitsperfection : Go back and reread your original thread about “firing” your bridal party. If you do, you’ll realize you need to leave well enough alone on this.
Post # 15
jellybellynelly : Yep! This is for her pretend wedding.