- 9 years ago
I’m still in shock. Tonight, for the third time in our relationship, I told my Boyfriend or Best Friend that I am concerned that we may not have a future due to the fact that we never talk about closing up the 70 mile distance between us (marriage).
He told me that he is sick having this talk (I asked him the same question twice before, both times we got in a huge fight and no questions were answered) and I remained calm the entire time. He accused me of picking a fight with him, as usual, but I stayed calm.
I wanted clarity, but he can’t give that to me. He can’t make any major decisions until he reaches his 1 year anniversary of his promotion, which is in October. Normally, I would wait 8 months for answers. But he told me he can’t guarantee that he will have answers even by October. By this time, we will have been together 2 years. He’s telling me that at 2 years, he will have no way of knowing if we have a future or not. I am not willing to gamble with my fertility and patience any longer. We will be 32(me) and 37(him) this year.
The biggest problem is that I can’t move my child away from his dad. That is the one and only thing keeping me in this state. I can move 25 miles in his direction, but anything beyond that and I am giving up my custody rights to my child that I just spent thousands of dollars preserving.
He won’t move for me at all, nor will he change jobs. He was very rudely adamant about not changing anything.
In other words, he’s already wasted 1.5 years of my life and I am too good to allow this to continue. He even gave me a hard time for having my son out of wedlock 5 years ago. That was a huge blow coming from someone who loved and accepted my son since the beginning.
I thought he was the nicest guy I’ve ever met, but the way he acted tonight was completely out of character and I am surprised/shocked by what happened tonight.
I told him repeatedly tonight that something is clearly wrong when 2 educated adults discuss their future and wind up crying and fighting.
I think I’m done feeling this way.