Post # 1
Member
41 posts
Newbee
So I went to try on dresses this weekend, and I found 1 (maybe 2) that I liked, but I never had that “wow” factor that everyone said I would, and I honestly don’t think I will. I sort of just want to buy one and get it over with.
I honestly think that the dress just isn’t that important to me. I found one that I like, and I’m excited because it’s cheap (under $500!), and it’s comfortable, it looks nice, and it has a corset back, which is the one thing I was really interested in. I am not interested in trying more dresses on and I sort of just want to get it over with. Everyone keeps asking “do you love it???” I love my fiance, I love his great grandmother’s engagement ring that he gave me, I love our venue and I love our caterer. I don’t think that I’m going to love a dress.
Does this make me weird? Have I not found the right one?
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@HVAndrea: How many dresses did you try? How many appointments did you have?
I have had 5 appointments now and tried on over 40 dresses. At the last appointment I finally found a dress I think is “the one”. But I’m still not 100% sure.
It will probably be “my dress”, but I didn’t have that huge epiphany moment. It was comfortable. Everyone who was with me said I really looked like “me” in the dress and I looked at ease. I still have 2 more appointments before I go back and see it again. I wouldn’t feel discouraged if you didn’t find “the one” on your first time out.
Post # 4
Member
41 posts
Newbee
I had 2 appointments and I don’t know how many I tried on, but that’s the other thing, I have NO interest in going THAT many times. I have time, I just don’t want to. It’s not my thing. There are only so many dresses that are even appropriate for my wedding (outdoors), so that limits a bit. But I suppose you’re right.
I was also discouraged because of who my mother invited–a friend who had little regard for what I wanted and only wanted me to try on what she wanted me to try on–things that were specifically on my “do not play” list, so to speak. I felt like no one was listening to me, so I felt really discouraged.
Post # 5
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@HVAndrea: I’m having an outdoor wedding too. There are many appropriate dresses. Also, you should try on something you think you don’t want (especially if a consultant recommends it) because you might like it.
The dress I think is “the one” is one I NEVER would have picked myself in a million years. It’s silk satin (I wanted lace & organza). It’s got a very plain top (I wanted some beading interest), it has a fuller skirt (I was thinking modified A-line or trumpet). But I LOVE the dress. Don’t be afraid to try something different. And at the wedding, it is IMPOSSIBLE for the bride to be overdressed.
Don’t be afraid to try something out of the box. Next time go with just your mom. Or maybe a good friend who’s opinion you trust. YOU will be the one wearing the dress on your wedding day so YOU are the one who has to be happy with it.
Post # 6
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
I think you have lots of time to find a dress, so why not wait a little bit? Honestly though, I didn’t have that “a ha!” moment, I just really liked the dress and decided to go for it. I bought my dress in Sept 09 for my May 11 wedding, and I’m having some regret, which is why I think you might want to wait a little bit.
Post # 7
Member
41 posts
Newbee
We’re also outside in July, so I sort of limited myself! I didn’t want anything satin because i didn’t want it to be too heavy. I also don’t want too much beading because I get anxious and I’d pick it off. I also said no lace, because I’m afraid I’d get it caught on something and rip it. And i said no poof because I’d be afraid of knocking something over. Now the lace and poof are probably my own issues and probably nonissues, but if I’m concerned with it the whole time, I won’t enjoy myself. My mom’s beastly friend just sat there ONLY picking out poofy and lacey dresses, and it just bothered me. Every time I tried on something I didn’t like, she made me explain why I didn’t like it. Sometimes I didn’t have a reason, I just didn’t like it for me, but that wasn’t good enough. I got to the point that I wanted to say hey, who are you, lady?
The consultants were nice, though, and started to pick up on it and said “oh no we don’t have that one in stock” if she picked out a picture of something that she knew I wouldn’t want to try on. So that was a plus!
I have a while–almost a year and a half–it was just a pity that my first couple of experiences were not so great.
Post # 8
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper
You might just be an ‘easy’ bride to be. My daughters both were and had no need to try on 50+ dresses. One got the first one she tried (but I made her try on at least 5/6 other styles first and it was also 2 years ahead of time), and the other bought the 5th dress she tried. With my neice we travelled in 3 states for her to try things on, but she ended up back where we started and found what was perfect for her.
Actually, the apppointment we made with the bridal consultant this last time told us she only shows brides 5 dresses at a time, as after that they become confused and they all start to look the same. Someone experienced should be more helpful in finding what may be the best style for you.
I say if you’re done and have no further desire to look, be done! There’s no law saying you have to go out a hundred times to find your dress, as there’s always new dresses that come out.
Post # 9
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
I had one appointment. I tried on like 6 dresses. I put my dress on and pretty much said “well, looks like we’re done here. I’m not going to look any better than this, ever. Where do I pay?” I wasn’t emotional, no one cried, there was no special glow and harp song. It was just a great dress and I felt great in it. And then they served me champagne, so it was pretty much awesome.
I think shows like Say Yes to the Dress make it look like some big dramatic thing, and maybe it is if you’re a crier. But it’s just shopping for really great clothes. If you know you like it, go for it.
Post # 10
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
you have a long time to find a dress. i would step away for a little while, and then go without your mom’s friend. you may not ever have a crying moment when you find your dress, but you will know. you’re right – your concerns about lace and poofiness are a little paranoid. i’m sorry you had an awful time, but you were lucky to have such a helpful consultant! next time you go, ask your consultant for more recommendations. try on a bunch of different dress shapes and styles – including lace and poofy – to see what you really like. a little time and space will do wonders for your search!
Post # 11
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
I’m a lot like you in that way. My mother asked me what i pictured myself wearing when i think of my wedding and honestly, i don’t picture myself wearing anything (i mean, anything in particular, i don’t picture myself naked!) When i think of my wedding, i picture my Fiance and the venue we are in love with, as well as my family and friends. That’s it. I could wear sweats and be happy. I have never pictured myself in a wedding dress.
I felt the same way you did while dress shopping. The one thing i’d suggest is maybe going to a place or 2 alone and trying on a few dresses without anyone there trying to stray you in the wrong direction.
You may not have that WOW moment, but at the very least, you will find something that suits you and suits your venue/time of year, and, most importantly, makes you feel beautiful.
Good luck!
Post # 12
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
You have sooo much time to find a beautiful dress that you love! I went to 3-4 shops and tried on at least 40 dresses. The dress I ended up with was not the result of crying or being overly emotional. I thought it was a beautiful dress (at a bargain price +10 points) and I felt like a bride. I didn’t think I could find a more beautiful dress for this price. So I bought it. And I don’t regret it one bit.
You will find your dress. You have so much time to keep looking it would be so silly to settle on something that is pretty good right now. Honestly, you don’t even need to order dress until this time NEXT YEAR! Enjoy the process and keep on looking until you fall in love with a dress. 🙂
Post # 13
Bee
916 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna
Its ok not to be into dresses. Every bride has thier priorities and sometimes the dress just isn’t one of them.
You have plenty of time. Wait until January, then go back and try on the one you like. If you still like it then, buy it. I thought I had found my dress but didn’t buy it right away. Went back a couple months later only to discover I really didn’t like it.
Post # 14
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee
I’m the same way. That’s why I keep posting polls here about my dress because I just don’t know one way or the other if I like it. It seems fine. It was cheap. My mom is worried that I’m not “excited” enough… I’m not sure if I would be more excited with a different dress, or if I’m just not that kind of girl.
Post # 15
Member
41 posts
Newbee
My other concern is that I’m the 3rd (and last) child in my family getting married, and my brother and sister were both outwardly excited about everything. I’m just not that kind of person, so I’m second guessed about everything. I had to justify my venue. I was VERY excited about it. It’s a winery outside, kind of rustic, and not something my parents understood because it’s sort of outside the box. And since they offered to pay (in retrospect, I should have declined), I had to justify it to them. I didn’t instantly start squeeling and jumping up and down, so they didn’t really see that I liked it. I think the dress thing is the same. I’m not jumping up and down and squeeling, but I really did like it. But their doubting is making me doubt myself.
Post # 16
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@HVAndrea: Do you have a photo of yourself in it? Can you go back and see it again with a group that is more supportive?
I think a wedding outside in a winery sounds fantastic and beautiful. I also think you need to lose a little of the worry about a dress catching on something etc and let yourself try on other styles.
But if you keep thinking about that dress, go back and try it again. Take some photos, take them home and sleep on it.
It may very well be “the one”.
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