I think I'm not going to like the ring he picked

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
7591 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I have to ask, what makes you so sure he purchased a light blue stone? I find it really bizarre that he would ask you what you want and even make a note of what you absolutely DON’T want that’s taped to his computer, only to go rogue and buy exactly the type of stone he knows you don’t want?? That would be effed up on many levels.

Is it possible he’s just messing with you to make you think he got a blue stone ring, but really got something else? 

Post # 3
Member
2844 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

You said you don’t even know if he purchased a ring yet so what makes you think he purchased one with a colored stone?? 

Post # 4
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

What are the indications he got you a blue stone?

Post # 5
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

If it were my fiancé, he would be winding me up…

Agree with PPs, why do you think he’s bought a light blue stone?

Post # 6
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

It seems unlikely that he would pick a light blue stone if you specifically told him not to and there is even a written note on his computer. 

How can you be 90% sure he bought a blue stone if you aren’t even sure if he has purchased the ring yet?

Actually plenty of stores let you bring back the ring if you don’t want it any more, it hasn’t been used yet and plenty of stores have a refun period. 

Post # 7
Member
977 posts
Busy bee

Switch out the stone at some point. 

Post # 8
Member
6958 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
numa89 :  “Months later I’m 90 % sure, that he got a light blue stone. (There are some obvious indications.)”

Like what?

“I don’t know if he got the ring…”

How can you not be sure he got the ring yet but 90% positive that it’s light blue?

“but if he did, he won’t be able to return it. No store would take back a ring just because you don’t like how it looks anymore.”

This isn’t true. Many stores have return policies!

Post # 9
Member
2925 posts
Sugar bee

Why do you think he bought a ring with a light blue stone?  Some details would be helpful. Do you think he got confused? Or do you think he found a light blue stone he loved and decided you would love it, too?

While other bees have said he might be winding you up/teasing you/misleading you, in my opinion if your SO does that (ie, delberately makes you think they disregarded your wishes/bought the thing you hate as a symbol of love), that seems cruel to me.  

I don’t know what kind of stone this could be (saphire? aquamarine?) but worst case scenario, if it can’t be returned/exchanged, you could swap it out for somehting you prefer… maybe keep the original stone for a RHR or a pendant or maybe for a future child?  

Post # 11
Member
946 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
numa89 :  I think he’s trying to tease you. Maybe he got you a dark blue stone? Would that be ok with you?

Post # 12
Member
1693 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
numa89 :  Do you think that he forgot that the note meant the colors you DIDN’T like and thinks it means the colors you want??

Post # 13
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

I agree with your assessment – I think he thinks he knows what you like better than you. I agree that he got you the blue stone, and just assumes you will just love it anyway. My ex was like this. My ex was super generous and very giving and loved to buy me gifts but he always thought he knew better. Same thing, it “matches” me better, it was what HE wanted me to have, not necessarily what I liked. Its what HE liked better. Of course I loved all the things he got me, but it always bothered me a little that he did that. It didn’t make him a bad person, he was just a strong ‘traditional” male, so he did what he thought was best. For most things it wasn’t a big deal but I was always stressed he would do that with my e-ring, get me one HE wanted me to have and I wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it, so I TOTALLY understand your concern. We wound up breaking up for other reasons but I understand exactly what you’re going through.

Post # 14
Member
5940 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
numa89 :  “Itchy wool socks for life!” LMAO!!

Post # 15
Member
5019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

Itchy wool socks for life! 

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