(Closed) I think mom doesnt want me to be happy

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

*HUGS* I am sorry your mom said that it’s horrible. That would definitely upset me!

I think it is sensible and responsible to get things in order before you get married!

Has your mom said things like this in the past? Does she like your FI? Do you think maybe she is disappointed that you aren’t planning the wedding because she enjoys it?

Post # 4
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

That’s terrible! I’d be upset too!

I’m glad you’re trying to get your custody case resolved first. I remember your posts on this and I know that neither you nor he are taking this stuff lightly. I wish you all the best and many hugs to you!

Post # 5
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I would definitely be upset, and I think you’re doing the right thing. I hope things work out!!

Post # 6
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

****hugs***** so sorry, its best that you get the custody case figured out first! That way you dont have to worry about anything. Dont let your mom bother you, i know its hard but sometimes my mom can be mean too lol. I have learned to just ignore her sometimes. 

Post # 8
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You’re not overreacting; that’s a very upsetting comment! On the other hand, since your mom has been very welcoming of your fiancé in the past, I’d let it slide as one of those too-blunt off the top of her head comments you said she’s prone tomaking.

Post # 9
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m so sorry your Mom said that. Sometimes people say things they just don’t mean. Maybe she was just stressed? My Mom is the same way. A little while ago, while talking on the phone, she asked how I was and I started to tell her about a thoughtful gesture my fiance did (he cooked and brought home flowers) after he got back from a business trip. She cut me off in mid-sentence and said how I need to cook too and then said that I need to take care of myself so “it doesn’t happen again”.

First off, I cook all the time, I love to cook – she knows this. Second, I am divorced and my ex turned out to be an absolute poor excuse of a man — he cheated on me and wanted to be single again — which is totally irrevalent to my relationship and my future husband is wonderful man.

It hurt when she said that and all I said was “I wish you can just be happy for me.”

I let a week pass before I contacted her again and she said how stressed out she is because of a lawsuit. It’s not an excuse, I know. But still, sometimes Moms don’t act like Moms, but they’re still our Moms.

Feel better and think about the ones that love you most! Continue being excited about your day! Laughing

Post # 11
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

That sounds like something my mom would say.  I would get upset over that comment, too; it’s not just you.  With my mom, I learned to just ignore her (when I can).  I don’t know about your mom, but my mom says very negative things like that all the time.  She did that throughout my life and also about my relationship the whole time I was dating my Fiance.  She’d say stuff like my Fiance (then bf) will leave me one day because I am older than him, that he’ll break up with me because he doesn’t like pets (and I have a dog) as if they are facts, etc. etc.  She made made me feel pretty bad about myself, but I am learning she’s just a very very negative person and she lowers her expectation so she doesn’t get hurt.  It sucks but I can’t change her, so I try to just not let her bother me, and it’s hard.

Post # 12
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m sorry she said that to you, and I know I would be upset. Maybe it was one of those comments people sometimes make without thinking first. I remember my mom said something really hurtful to my sister once because she didn’t think first, and she is THE sweetest person I know. It happens.

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