(Closed) I think my BM stole $40 from me. What do I do?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I would let it go. I know you have your suspicions, but what if you’re wrong? Then you lose a friendship over accusing someone that you’re not 100% certain stole your money. If it were me, I would definitely let it go, but I’d keep my eye on her in the future.

Post # 4
Member
46380 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Given that you were going to keep it rather than turn it in to the police or post an ad in the Lost and Found of the newspaper or something like Craigslist,  I would suggest you drop it.

Post # 5
Member
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

DO NOT jump to conclusions. I find that things that seem like the only plausible explanation are often wrong. And, unless this is a trend, it’s not worth ruining your relationship with your bridesmaid over this. And if you accuse her it will certainly damage the relationship. Espeically since you have no proof and might, in fact, be wrong about her taking it. Maybe keep an eye out in the future to see if something like this happens again, but I wouldn’t bring it up unless I had some really hard proof. But then, I don’t really like to rock the boat unless I think it’s necessary, and it sounds like this wasn’t really a big deal, financially speaking.

Post # 6
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can totally understand because the point to me would not be if I FOUND it or not it’s the fact you think she took something and then lied about it.  Yeah keeps your eye on that one and makes sure doing any other events no on lease their things unattended. If someone will take a lie about just 40 bucks it’s 50 times more than before possible they will take again. 

Post # 8
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with others that you should just let it go. She’s not going to come clean if she did take it, and if she didn’t, then you’re just accusing her of something for no reason. There is no resolution in discussing it. Someone stole $25 dollars out of mine and my SO’s bedroom durring a party last year. We wrestled with it because we’re 90% sure we know who it was, but to judge him without being 100% would be unfair, and confronting him would be useless. We decided the minute he gets CAUGHT red handed stealing from anyone, then we’ll take a step back from the friendship.

I have to disagree with @julies1949. Not posting an ad in a newspaper or craigslist doesn’t have much to do with this issue. Do you know how many people would respond to a public ad stating “Found $40. Please contact me if you’re the rightful owner.” I bet hundereds. It would benext to  impossible to seek out the person who’s pocket this really fell from.  So long as you asked the girls inside, and would intend to cough up the money had one of your neighbors mentioned losing $40 I think it’s fine.

Post # 9
Member
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It’s your choice whether to distance yourself or not from this friend, but since you’re operating on a hunch, since the money wasn’t yours to begin with, since this is a Bridesmaid or Best Man of yours:

$40 is so not worth it. 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
46380 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@KoalaWalla:  When you post a Lost and Found Ad, you obviously don’t state the amount of money.

You would just state the general area where you found it. The claimant would have to be able to specify where they think they  lost the money and what the exact amount was.

This is kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, and certainly not worth jeopardizing a friendship over.

Post # 11
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Suspecting that a friend stole from you is a horrible feeling (I’ve been there myself). Still, without proof you can’t really say anything without jeopardizing the friendship.

 

Post # 12
Member
9669 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with the others, let it go.  It was only $40 – not much in the whole scheme of things.  Certainly not worth losing a friendship over.  And she could be completely innocent anyway.

Post # 13
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@julies1949:  who is really going to turn $40 in? that is just silly!! its not a huge amount of money and thats not the point, not like the person who found it stole it.   I think this is sad b/c she probably did take it but you can not prove it 🙁

What a terrible feeling… just keep an eye out for the future and be aware of things she may do.  If bad things like this keep happening you will have to end the friendship, but for now to try let it go!  obviously the ammount of money is not the factor its the fact that you lost some trust in a friend, even if it had been $1 it makes you question your friend and leaves a bad taste in your mouth 🙁

Good Luck!

Post # 14
Member
46380 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Future Mrs K:  I would turn $40 in. If no one claims it within a defined period of time , the police turn it back to the finder. You never know, that $40 could be the last $40 a single mom has for groceries to last till the end of the month.

I guess I was raised differently.

Post # 16
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t know….I may have to disagree with the other PP’s. If a friend of mine, especially a Bridesmaid or Best Man stole anything from me (whether I found it or not, it’s still stealing because she took it from your room without out asking) I would be so upset I don’t know if I could keep quiet.

I just know that it would eat me alive until I said SOMETHING.

What I would do is bring it up casually and just say something like “So, yea about that money being taken from my room. Totally creepy, right? I know I put it on my dresser. I just keep replaying over and over again where it could have gone. SO weird!”

But I know that is just me.

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