(Closed) I think my bridesmaids hate me

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I made a big move as you did once, and sadly to say I found that some of the most profound distances are never geographical. Once I moved away, those relationships made convenient by proximity weren’t any longer and I drifted away from those people who didn’t wish to keep long distance contact with me. I’m so sorry that this is happening to you right in the middle of planning your wedding. Have you confronted any of them about they’re non committal attitudes?

Post # 5
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

LOL Sometimes you gotta hand it to the dudes. I’m glad you are having some help after all. I encourage you to speak up though, real communication is a two way road. Even if they do back out, then you won’t have half-assed BMs in your wedding. If it goes well, then things will get better. This time should be happy for you girl!

Post # 6
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, fabulosity.  i agree with toastercat– it might be worth vocalizing your worries/concerns– it sounds like despite the move, you’re doing a ton to help out your BM’s.  They’re your BM’s for a reason!  Besides, sometimes communication gets iffy when it comes to emails, so phone calls would hopefully clarify any concerns/miscommunications that you might be perceiving… just a thought!

Post # 7
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

Better to have no BMs than ones that show absolutely no enthusiasm and joy for you. Just my two cents… Out of curiosity why are you “scared to death they may take it the wrong way and try to back out…” If they do try to back out, isn’t it better to have all the cards on the table before the wedding? That way you know who has the crummy attitude and who is genuinely supportive.

Post # 9
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

HUGS!  i am SO sorry that your maids are bailing on you.  it sounds like you have gone out of your way to be beyond considerate (i wish all brides were so nice) and since they are all married (so i surmised from your story), they can’t claim not to get the whole wedding universe.  maybe if you talked to them they’d feel guilty, but even if they don’t, i hope your family and fiance are supporting you.  if all else fails, there’s always wedding bee.  we’re thrilled to hear your suggestions and field questions.  best of luck.

Post # 10
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ok so you are doing nothing wrong and you are being BEYOND generous with buying not only their accesories and shoes but their DRESSES and then planning your own shower and going out of your way to help them! that is amazing and i really wish i could do that for mine! youre not the only bride to have to deal with oot weddings and im so sorry that theyre being so snotty and rude! it seems like you are being so nice and honestly, you may have to stop and just be real and tell them how you feel. theyre being really nasty and its not right, not after all youre doing for them. this is your day and theyre not acting lik theyre your friends.

im so sorry, *hugs*!

Post # 12
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Aw, I’m so sorry it ended up this way for you. I don’t think one bridesmaid and two groomsmen will look crazy at all, I think it will be great. And, you will know on your special day that the bridesmaid you have standing with you is a true friend and honestly wants to make you happy and that is worth so much.

Post # 13
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think it will look crazy at all!!  Besides, you could have 12387127 bridesmaids, but if they’re jerks it doesn’t really matter!  Better off to have one awesome friend!!

I had a problem with one bridesmaid (I was in her wedding too, threw her baby shower, etc etc) and she dropped out.  Now I have a friend I havent known as long replacing her, but she’s fantastic!  She’s as excited about my day as I am!

Everything happens for a reason — maybe you would’ve spent your wedding day tiptoeing around them, and now you won’t have to!  Like you said in the end all it comes down to is you and Fiance.  Much love and hugs girl!! <3

Post # 14
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

You are doing too much. THAT is the problem.

Post # 16
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

To me this speaks of a person who is soft inside and wants to be loved. 

But when people realize it they start taking advantage of that… please, be (a little) more guarded!

Kiss

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