(Closed) I think my family thinks my diy wedding is cheap!

posted 7 years ago in DIY
Post # 3
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I got the same comments from my family, don’t worry. My dad said to me at least three times “You know…. It’s okay for you to spend money on your wedding…… The money is there for you……”. I don’t think they really understood that I loved doing the DIY stuff and it wasn’t to keep my budget low, it was because I liked doing it. Once our wedding came and they saw everything pulled together they “got it”. If you have any inspiration photos of other weddings or styles you like, I would show them the photos and maybe they’ll get a better idea of what you’re aiming for. I found that really helped me.

Post # 4
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so, so excited to make my invitations, maybe my veil, and tons of decor. But I’m also terrified people will think I’m doing it because I’m cheap, and not because I really want to. I think a lot of the things I want to do are meant to be rustic/vintage/handmade looking… which is always going to look cheap to some. What’s awesome to you is always going to be inadequate for others. I think it’s important to do the things that will make you smile when you look at the pictures down the road, as opposed to worrying about others.

Post # 5
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think its just a generational thing maybe. Just look at all the creative and beautiful things other bees have and are doing. Nothing cheap about it. I always find that the older generation like to stick to traditional and anything differing from that is just weird and must be stopped! lol. I wouldn’t let it worry you so much. I have such a sense of pride when I finish a DIY project and could care less you doesnt like although I know when you’re excited about something and someone else puts it down it can really put a damper on things. This is your wedding and they’ll be ok, trust me. If you don’t want a cake then don’t. I wanted a cupcake tower as well and my family looked at me crazy as well. The only reason I’m going with a regular wedding cake is that I’m getting a good deal on my bridal cake and grooms cake but between now and April if I can find a deal on the cupcakes…its so happening! lol

Post # 6
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s hard for a lot of people to understand that, while it might have been customary to buy everything from a cookie cutter like factory back in the day, there are just too many divergent interests, personalities and people getting married to stick with that! I say, too each their own! If you want cupcakes because you like cupcakes…do it! We don’t like cake or cupcakes…we’re having donuts! Gasp!!! It’s not even remotely like cake!! And gelato of course (which I’m sure we’ll have guests wondering what it is…is it ice cream? I don’t get it..).  Maybe if you show some of the pics from the blogs with your style and decor they’d “get it.” Sigh…but some people never understand. My mom wants a 4×6 print out from our photo booth. She just doesn’t understand why anyone would want small pictures….(most people will just get the digi copy and post the facebook mom!). Sigh again.

Post # 7
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@staceynrick: LOL! Guests guessing at gelato! We had gazpacho and one of my friends commented that he thought he had been sent cold soup by accident and nearly sent it back, duh! I think his fiancee clued him in 😉  We had donuts with our dessert buffet and they were a HUGE hit. I think being outside the box is great! I wouldn’t change a thing about what we had and the choices we made at our wedding 🙂

Post # 9
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My advice is not to tell them! My grandmother was like that too…she kept worrying to everyone that my wedding would look “cheap.” (I especially didn’t tell her that we were renting toilets.:)) (Oh, and we didn’t even serve cake or cupcakes!) The day of, she was amazed and said to me afterwards that she was amazed that we planned such a nice wedding. What they won’t know won’t hurt them, and when they see the full look, they’ll understand.

Post # 10
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

My family poo-poo’d just about everything they heard about the wedding – so, I stopped talking about it (to save myself grief).  And, you know what?  Come the wedding day – they loved everything about it.  

I think it’s easy to be critical about certain aspects of the wedding (as a family member) because they have their opinion about how it should be done (and sure aren’t quiet about it, most of the time!)

That said – just keep on planning the wedding YOU want to have… it will all come together beautifully!!!!

Post # 11
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I once had dinner with a friend of my hubbys who got married a few months before us. Naturally, we discussed wedding planning. They showed us a picture of their amazing, huge flower arrangements. I told them I was going to DIY ours with thrift store vases and doilies. They talked about their very expensive dj. I said we weren’t having dancing, I don’t like it, so no DJ. She talked about her color scheme and formal bridesmaids dresses. I said I don’t have a color scheme really (spring colors but not just a few, a lot), and my bridesmaids picked their own dresses. The list goes on to what we did differently, and yes I felt silly b/c our wedding did sound “cheap,” but it’s not me to spend a million dollars on a wedding. It’s not me to have a formal wedding. Our wedding was perfect for us, and theirs was perfect for them. If they don’t like it, I don’t care, b/c I loved it.

Post # 12
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Pretty much all family (including my now husband) doubted every single plan I had before our wedding.  The tables weren’t the same size, we didn’t have cloth table covers, we had donuts instead of cake, I made the cake stands out of plates and candle sticks, we had a “mismatched” candy buffet, our centerpieces were wild flowers in mason jars, the bridesmaids wore cardigan sweaters with their dresses and I made all the invitations and programs.  And it turned out that everyone loved it all.  They said that the entire day said so much about us and our personalities and both my mom and husband said they’ll never doubt me again. 

Point of the story?  Stick to your guns Kate169!  Your wedding will be beautiful!

Post # 13
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I totally get it. We’re also changing some of the usual traditions, and even though everyone looked at us like we were crazy when we first brought it up, they’re starting to come around… really slowly. You just need to realize that the only person you need to make happy is you, and that sometimes it’s hard for people to see your vision before the day of. I think it sounds lovely, personally.

Post # 15
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My mother cannot for the life of her understand why I’m making flowers out of ribbon to then make into pomanders for ceremony decor (which is my current DIY project).  First it was “well why don’t you make them with real flowers?” sorry mom, I’m going to have better things to do the week of the wedding then make pomanders.  Then “well then why don’t you just buy fake flowers to make them, are you sure these ribbon flowers are going to look ok?” at which point I almost screamed.  She hasn’t even seen my ribbon flowers.  For all she knows they’re the prettiest things on the face of the planet.  But she doesn’t get why I’m “spending so much timing making something like that“.  I’ve told her I’ve seen pictures of pomanders made out of ribbon flowers and that’s really the look I want (pictures that I cannot find again, btw) but I guess she’ll just have to see what I mean at the wedding, lol.

Basically, you aren’t alone! hahaha, and I totally agree with PP that it’s a generational thing.

Post # 16
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

Eh…I don’t think it’s a generational thing at all. Lots of people DIY many things and always have, but that isn’t to say all DIY things are great or even look good. That may be why some of the opinions are offered up. Ever been to a holiday craft show and see some of the junk people try to sell? Hot glue drips everywhere, just plain ugly colors thrown together,etc. Sometimes it’s hard to appreciate all the time spent making something when it really doesn’t look very nice except to the person who made it.

People will come around if they truly understand and accept that it’s your wedding being done your way.

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