- 4 years ago
I could really use your advice on my dilema with my fiance of 2 years. He wants to marry me but I am not sure I do..I think he is addicted to his pc. He has been without a consistent job for over a year now and he has been spending a lot of time sitting in his room ‘working’ on his pc. Our sex life has been horrible. It was good for the first 4 months only and after that it’s like once very 2 months we have sex. This hurts me because he makes me feel more like his sister than his mate and lover. When I politely confronted him he gave me myriad of excuses as with anything else I need to confront him with. He lives with his father who is 82 and says he doesn’t want to go and rent a place of his own when he has his own family home to stay at. Each time I call him I hear him typing on his pc. He tells me he has things for sale on ebay and watches the site frequently and checking his emails. He had been involved in the past with YouTube and he admitted it became an addiction to him for a while. It had gotten to the point where he met a woman and he flew to Italy to meet her spending money on a ticket and hotel for someone he really never met in person before. Of course, as with anything, he has an excuse to blame his misery for. Each time a responsibility rises up in his life he gets very negative and overwhelmed whining about his problems and complaining he ‘wishes he had a ‘calm’ life with no one on his head making his life miserable’. His father likes me a lot and told me that his son was a ‘mama’s boy’ and was after his mother skirt all the time. He told me also she had been (she died) overprotective of him to the point where she would still iron his pants and make his coffee when he was 34-now he is 39. Once, I caught him on my own pc, where a woman from facebook, had sent him ‘praising’ (indirect flirty) messages about his intellectuality on politics and religion in general. I searched for his replies and no where did I find any reply telling her that he is in a relationship. Recently, I created a fake account on YouTube and uploaded a sexy photo representing the account user with some of the things he likes as the user’s interests and activities. I sent him a friend invitation after commenting on a link he would visit often, and he accept it. After about a week, I started sending him messages asking him information about things which he has a passion for such as bikes and politics and he replied immediately! I monitored his time and I found that he spent easily 2 hours messaging me without a delay. As I was fuming, I had decided to remain calm and see how long he would keep this. After 2 weeks of frequent messages, I finally confronted him asking him ”who so and so is”. I told him I saw ‘her’ messages when he had logged in from my pc one day and forgot to log out…. He then, with a seemingly sincere look in his face, told me it was someone who was simply asking for information about a book he had mentioned on the forum and she wanted to know more about it. I told him that I noticed a lot of messages between them and that this was taking too much ouf of his time. He tried to discount the whole thing as usual. Finally, after testing him for 30 minutes, I told him that the ‘her’ was actually ME….His jaw dropped and he became pale and then suddenly he started crying..!!!! He started telling me how come I didn’t trust him and why would I do this to him… I would like to hear your opinion on this incident and everything else and also as to WHY did he start crying…? I want validation on my assumptions and would love to hear any views on the matter 🙂
- This topic was modified 4 years ago by 12stars.