Post # 1
I have a friend that seems to be upset because I can’t attend her bachelorette. I say this because after I told her that I have other obligations that day, she never responded. But we had been in mid text conversation immediately before, and then she seemed to disappear after I let her know. It’s now been weeks and she hasn’t responded. The thing is, I’m actually not invited to the wedding so…. any advice on how to handle this? Am I reading into this too much?
Post # 2
have you texted her since then? If not, what about just striking up a new conversation and going from there?
Post # 3
Ignore it, and text her about getting together to do something fun completely unrelated. A real friend isn’t going to be mad at you for having obligations outside their own world, especially if you are not part of or invited to the wedding.
Post # 4
I went through the same, but my “friend” was getting married across country.
It wasn’t a financial issue, so I could of attended, she just didn’t invite me.
Her bachlorette party was in Vegas (I live in CA) so I was invited to that, but I didn’t go.
The group going was going to see strippers etc and I wouldn’t of enjoyed myself or been comfortable.
Also, if I’m not invited to the wedding, why would I go to the bachlorette and spend a lot of money on her? So I declined.
She didn’t talk to me for a while, but Im completely OKAY with that.
If you’re not important enough to go to her wedding, then you should NOT feel bad for not going to her bachlorette, period.
She can grow up and get over it.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2021 - Long Island, NY
Wait, you’re not invited to the wedding but she wants you at her bachelorette party? I would just let it go, what right does she have to be upset about this?
Post # 6
Not invited to the wedding? That’s lame if she expects you to go to the bachelorette. I would just text her about getting together if you want to and see what she says. But I’d be ticked off by her rudeness.
Post # 7
I don’t think she has a right to be upset but I have a *feeling* that she is, because she normally responds. But you’re right, maybe I should just try making some other plans with her and see what happens.
Post # 8
If anything you should be upset, she didn’t invite you to her wedding. If you’re close enough to go to her bachlorette, then you should be close enough to be at the wedding.
Post # 9
So she wants you to pay for her drinks and club fares all night, and cant invite you to the wedding….I agree with the other posters, you should be the one to be upset! I dont think its as bad as inviting people to a shower and not the wedding, but to me, the bachelorette party is for your closest friends (and those people should be invited to your wedding)
Post # 10
Okay well, is her wedding tiny (more details please!)? If not, and she’s the kind of person who has a big wedding and invites you to the bachelorette party and not the wedding, well then she’s a B. She probably didn’t respond because she is mad, because she’s rude and ridiculous. I mean she could have opened it and forgotten to respond as well, but doesn’t seem to be the case.
It’s been weeks. She’s not going to respond now.
Post # 11
Personally, I would make one or two attempts at normal conversation.
“Hey, how’s it going? Did you see that article about X in the paper today/TV show last night/new restaurant opening up near you? What are you up to this weekend?
If she still doesn’t reciprocate maybe make one last attempt at just asking if anything is going on because she’s been quiet.
But beyond that, I’m not big on pandering to people who turn what should be minor disappointments into the silent treatment or giving them any acknowledgment that this is a big deal, so I would then just wait it out until she wants to contact you again. Who knows – maybe she just got busy or since it seems like two conversations were happening at once just didn’t think to go back and finish up after that.
Post # 12
I was told it was family only but I keep finding out about mutual friends that were invited. Looks like I just didn’t make the cut. It wouldn’t really phase me anyways, but I can’t make wedding events a priority for my life for a wedding that I’m not invited to, so I kept the plans I already had the day of the bach.
Post # 13
she’s doing you a favor by getting out of your life. You aren’t invited to the wedding but she wants you to attend and pay for her. I am so sorry you have to deal w this jerk
Post # 14
Yah. At this point, who cares if she’s mad. She doesn’t care to have you at her wedding, she has no right to be mad about her stagette
Post # 15
I tend to think that if someone is upset with me and I’m pretty certain I haven’t done anything to them then it’s their responsibility to say something to me. Her feelings are hers and it’s up to her to say or do something if she’s bothered. If she doesn’t say anything then in your position I’d behave as I usually would with her.
PS- good for you for having other plans and keeping them. People need to know that folks have lives that do not revolve around them.