I’m in the same situation. My husband and I have been together for almost 28 years, married almost 27. Im 49 and my husband will be 53 this month. His problems with Ed started about 5 years ago, just over night. We struggled with it for about a year, and my husband, like the original poster, wouldn’t go to the dr and as much as I hated to do it, I literally had to nag and shame him into going, because I was so worried he had a major underlying medical condition. We live in a small town. Everyone knows everyone and this includes his dr. He is friends with him so I think this made it even more difficult for him. Now that time has passed and he’s been on Levitra for the last five years, I have begun questioning him about his follow up with the dr. He says the dr doesn’t follow up he just refills the Rx. I questioned this and asked him if there was any bloodwork or other tests run? He said no. Recently, I started into the phase between Peri menopause and menopause and a lot of other emotional problems due to our kids, loss of parents, and other things. With my problems came a need to be with my husband all the time, and a sudden desire for sex all the time. Our sex life has always been crazy, insane, through the roof, can’t keep our hands off each other, incredible. The last year or so, it became mundane, about 1 or 2 times a month, versus the 6-7 times a month or more that we used to do it. (Incidentally his dr thinks he’s a comedian and said “didn’t he know he only gets to use his penis so many times before it quits?) So over the last year, it has been about the same, he takes a 1/4 or 1/2 a pill, and tells me to go upstairs and get ready. He climbs on, no emotion to speak of, makes sure I’m satisfied, and then he finishes. I recently told him I missed our old relationship. He became upset. I don’t really know if his behavior changed because of his ed, and he had to concentrate so hard that he couldn’t have emotion or what. I’m 5’5 1/2” and was 208 lbs (after 2 pregnancies, twins and a single) and major health problems (cancer). I recently lost 30 lbs in about 5 weeks and he never commented, I don’t know if he has even noticed. I get dressed up, not just nice, but sexy/hot, and he says nothing. Making love with him used to be great and I always felt loved and wanted afterward. We had a huge argument last weekend, because he sensed I was upset about something, and I didn’t want to talk about it. He knows me well after all these years. He asked me what was wrong, I told him nothing, he said bull****, and I finally told him I just feel disconnected and alone. He said, “what’s making you feel like this?” I said idk. Just lots of emotional stuff. He said, “do you think I don’t live you anymore?” I said that was part of it. He said that couldn’t be further from the truth. He held me and told me he loved me more than anything In the world. Later we went to dinner. He didn’t see me get dressed so when I came downstairs he looked at me, and smiled and made a little eyebrow gesture at my bare skin on my shoulders (a sexy little shirt I haven’t been able to wear in 5 years) he never said anything, just a look. He opened doors for me, held my hand, gave me hugs and kisses. When we got home, he stopped me in the driveway and kissed me passionarely, held me and told me to never doubt his love for me. He said I was stuck with him forever and again said he loves me more than anything in the world and there’s no one else he would ever want to be with. More passionate kissing. We came inside and got changed. I was pretty sure there was going to be sex….I was wrong. He worked on his boat and fishing stuff, and got his golf clubs ready for the next day, watched basketball, picked out his clothes for the next day golfing and went to bed. I got in rolled over and pretended to be asleep while tears rolled quietly down my cheeks. Not the first time in the last few months. I sent him a message when he was golfing asking if I should knock one out (masterbate) by myself while he was gone or wait for him? He replied wait for me. So I did. Last night we ate dinner, watched some tv then got ready for bed. He got into bed and pulled me onto him and started kissing me. Nothing happened. We kissed for over 5 minutes, groping and rubbing and still nothing. I was rubbing myself on him and still no erection. I tried fondling him and stroking but nothing happened. He asked for me to let him up so I did. He rolled me over and got a vibrator. He used it on me until I climaxed then pulled me to the side of the bed. He masterbated until he got hard finally and then entered me. He had a little difficultly staying rock hard but managed to engage in intercourse for about 5 minutes until he orgasmed. We went to bed and he rolled over and put his arm around me and asked if I enjoyed it? I just said yes. I don’t want to hurt him or make him feel any worse than he already does. I don’t know what to do. I love him more than anything and he says he does me as well. He says we are “soul mates”. I am lost and for the first time in my life I don’t know how to handle this situation. Anyone have any positive input? It would be greatly received. Thanks in advance.