Ok, Bee. It’s time to break this shit down.
Your husband is gaslighting the snot out of you.
He is making you the guilty party for so cruelly and insensitively accusing him of even entertaining the thought of being attracted to another woman. Bee, how could you?!
He’s trying to shut you down. Stop bringing it up. Excuse me? He does not own the dialogue. His wife has entirely valid feelings of anxiety and he is ordering her to shove them.
He is directing you not to worry or be jealous. Well. Allrighty then.
Are you detecting the theme here? It’s all the product of your imagination/anxiety; you’re being a horrible partner, accusing Saint Husband of awful things; and, you need to shut the hell up. To summarize: he is an innocent victim.
Then, there is your husband’s character; or, more accurately, the lack thereof. See above for ample evidence of major character deficits. Let’s add in his derisive attitude toward women. He passed negative judgment on Amanda before he even knew her. And, please note, his criticisms of her were based on her appearance. What work she may or may not have had done to her face. The type of handbag she carried.
A legit complaint about an interviewer is along the lines of: she was 20 minutes late; she didn’t really seem to know very much about the position; that kind of thing.
How interesting that this crap came from a guy who, by your description, is quite invested in his own vanity.
When he pulls the “go negative” trick out of mothballs, where does he go? Back to Amanda’s appearance. He compounds his felony by escalating from her face to her breasts, to which he refers as “boobs”. That is not a small thing, Bee. Words have enormous power. You may want to check yourself on this.
The references to Amanda’s anatomy signals significant disrespect toward someone with whom he has a professional relationship and is his boss, for gawd’s sake
We can distill all of this out and examine it separate and apart from his obvious obsession.
Bee, I can see that you’re struggling with finding your way in all of this. Completely understandable. The advice about individual therapy is excellent. I agree that you would benefit greatly from some support right now as you sort this all out.