- 4 years ago
Regular Bee going anon. Sorry this is so long but I don’t know where else to go and I trust this place.
I think my DH suffers from paranoid schizophrenia or delusional disorder. He hasn’t been diagnosed but that’s the best I can come up with myself. His maternal grandfather developed some mental problems towards the end of his life after returning from war although he was never diagnosed with an illness it was clear he is not all right in the head. DH is 30.
Background: DH had ADD as long as he could remember. He developed depression and anxiety disorders 3 years ago as a result of bad accident that his parents were involved in, he went through surgery himself, and his paychecks have been garnished for a mix up with an insurance and short term disability for said surgery all at the same time (well within 2 months). He took it hard, but attended therapy and got prescribed medication that he has been taking regularly and it seemed to help. While he was laying home after surgery 3 years ago he was listening to a radio early in the morning and didn’t like what they were broadcasting (it was a local radio station). He thought it would be a good idea to call that radio station and complain about a host. It might seem random to a story but it will be important.
Life got back to normal. Until now.
I am not really sure when it started. Less than 6 months ago. We were planning our wedding and he wanted to get promoted at the current job so he applied – got denied. Applied again for a different position and got denied again. That’s when he started to change a little and mentioning stuff like “they are out to get me”.
It wasn’t long before it got quite bad. I will spare you details because they aren’t that important. However, by now he is completely convinced that:
- The radio station that he called to complain put him on terrorist watch list and has been spying on him 24/7.
- People at work are on it and are denying him promotion at work because they are spying on him and know he believes in God and they hate on him for his political beliefs.
- His family is on it as well and they are just hiding it.
- He has questioned my intentions as well (“What do you know about it?”)
- He thinks our house is bugged. He looked everywhere for hidden camera and didn’t find it.
- He believes that he is what it is called Targeted Individual (look it up, pretty creepy stuff).
- He thinks his phone is bugged (mine too) but he won’t trade it in because he wants to collect evidence.
- He thinks that there is some facebook live stream or other website that streams our lives to thousands of people and nobody tells him about it.
- He started talking to himself. Well, he claims he is talking to THEM because they are listening all the time. It is gut wrenching listening to him plead and beg and cry and even threat those people to stop.
- He doesn’t trust people in general, only me and my family.
- He won’t quit his job until he figures out what is going on and will seek justice through law suit.
- He believes that radio station is also spying on him and send people to follow him and take pictures of him. Then they taunt him through their show indirectly to let him know he is still spied on.
I think that’s about it. If you didn’t live with him, you wouldn’t know he suffers from anything. He works his ass off, is super polite, very intelligent (he plays chess in championships and stuff like that), loves to laugh and joke, loves to learn new things, is able to show love towards me all the time. But he won’t go to a doctor. He believes that THEY are setting it all up to make him look crazy and to lose credibility for a joke because he criticized a radio station 3 years ago. He has no hallucinations, doesn’t see people or stuff that aren’t there, he doesn’t hear any voices in his head. And that’s pretty typical for schizophrenia, right? That’s why I am confused. He isn’t obsessed with it all the time either. Typically only when we are home he is reminded of it. When we are out and doing stuff, he is back to old self.
Wedding vows say “in sickness or in health” so any advice that say “leave him” is pointless because I won’t. At least not until I know I did absolutely everything I can to make it better.
He is not a threat to other people or himself. He doesn’t want to kill himself, he isn’t mean or abusive towards me or anybody. He has deep love and compassion for everyone, even his “perpetrators” as he call them. When I mention that maybe he should see a doctor, he gets mad at me for not believing him. Right now I am not sure what to do since I am really the only person he seems to completely trust and I don’t want to ruin it.
Anyone has any experience with this? I know that obvious answer is to take him to hospital or trick him into seeing a doctor or bring doctor home and all that. But what about for now? Like today and tomorrow since he won’t entertain the thought of doctors for now and I don’t want to force him. I keep hoping It will go away on its own and it honestly seems to be getting better but I realized he is the one who got better at not telling me what is on his mind all the time.
Whatever is going on with him, is slowly killing him inside and takes away any confidence he had left. He feels defeated and like a failure and my heart absolutely breaks for him.