Post # 1
Oh no I’m flipping out, now sure what to do.
Background: A long time ago my mom set up a “vacation” email account to see emails when she was a away from home, and she gave us all the password so we could all use it. So last summer I was emailing her about something (the subject was styrofoam) and I needed to see if she had gotten the email, and I went into the account. there was an email that said “re:styrofoam” so I clicked on it and once I started reading it I realized it was an email to some man, talking about how she missed him and even though she just saw him (they were out of town at the time) she missed him and loved him blah blah blah. I didn’t know what to do at the time so I did nothing
So tonight I was having some drama with her cousin (see my other post) and I checked in the account to see if she had read my email. There was another email from the guy and I had to read it! Basically right now my parents are camping, and we had left our camper set up there as well because my sister is going camping there in a few days and there was no point in unhooking everything. My mom spends a LOT of time on the internet in the evenings at my home and my dad is usually downstairs where he can’t see her. Here is the email. I’m freaking out what should I do?
AWWWWW miss you too want you as well… i have no tv to watch lol …well ii could go in the other room…
you got to be careful and i know you will…
tell me about your day…tell him you like to peace and quiet at the other trailer LOL
Openings. He said there was no need for me to go to the other trailer tonight – grrrrrrrrrr, and I couldn’t think of a good reason why I should. And he has not been watching tv till just now.
I miss you! I want you!
OK rough in terms of internet or rough interms of openings
having a rough time getting on tonight……. hopefully soon
Post # 3
why dont you ask her out to lunch and just tell her what you saw and ask her?? i wouldnt make a huge deal about it till you know exactly whats going on 🙂
Post # 4
Well, that’s awkward,
But if I were you, I would keep my mouth shut. It isnt your business, it is your parents’.
Post # 5
yeah definately ask her about it. be prepared for her to be pissed you were reading her emails though…. but i wouldnt freak out until you know what is REALLY going on.
Post # 6
I actually think you should confront your mom, for sure! Can you imagine if this comes out and your Dad found out you had some inkling and didn’t say anything?? She may deny it all…which she probably will, but you need to ask her about it either way.
Post # 7
Well if she is using a family email account to carry on conversations of a questionable nature then she must know that someone will find them. I would tell her you checked that account to see if she had read a previous email you sent her and that you saw those messages. Ask her upfront what is going on and let her know your feelings. I would suggest counseling to both her and them (her and your dad) as a couple. Good luck!!!
Post # 8
Is your wedding coming up in August? If so, I’d certainly wait until after all the celebrations are done. You don’t need any drama at this time. I think if you don’t say anything, it will bother you immensely and be hard to be around both parents. If you do talk to your mom, make sure it’s at the best time for you and have support ready for you after the discussion.
While many couples work out problems like this, be prepared for your parents to separate if your hunch is spot-on. I’m sorry you have been put in the situation. I wish you well.
Post # 9
whoa! yeah shes totally cheating.
i don’t know if i would ever be able to trust her again.
Post # 10
I would keep my mouth shut especially with your wedding so close.
Do you really want to deal with all the drama with your wedding a month away?
Post # 11
I totally emailed the guy, asked who he was and if something is going on with my mom. At which point he emailed my mom and said he needed to log off.
I emailed him back and said if he doesn’t respond that I’d be happy to discuss it with my father instead. My mom is in another country (usa, I’m canadian) with no phone camping. so I can’t call her to discuss or ask her to meet or anything camping. And she had asked me to leave her keys to my trailer so she could set up her sewing machine in there and sew table squares for me. I feel so betrayed, for my father, my sister and I, all of those around her. sickened
Post # 12
@Daisylynn: Ya I find it really stupid that she’s using a family email we all have a password to. the email address is even mom2 (my sisters nickname). In some of the emails they are talking about my upcoming wedding. sick. I can’t believe she’d discuss that with him. I looked again and she has deleted all the emails from him out of the account now. I guess my finding it was a timing thing.
I think this has been happening at LEAST a year though since the time before when I found the email was last summer.
The guys doesn’t even have the balls to write me back. What a coward.
Post # 13
I’m so sorry honey!!!! I would have emailed him too if I were in your shoes. I would, at your earliest convenience, talk to your mom and let her know you found the messages and you messaged the guy asking what was going on. Let her explain everything and listen to her. While she is not in the right to have stepped out on your dad she does have feelings and she for whatever reasons felt they were not being met. Suggest counseling and try not to let this impact your relationship with her…. as hard as that is going to be. Good luck!!!!
Post # 14
@Daisylynn: She just emailed me about opinions on some shoes for the wedding (the identical email she just sent him, puke)
Should I ask her who he is? Is it ok to do it over email late at night? I’m shaking all over right now and I doubt I could sleep
Post # 15
It would take all the self control in my body to not say something to her right now. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
Post # 16
@Miss Giraffe: I am so sorry this is happening. I’ve personally seen what this can do to families and while I understand the PP stating it is not your business, I actually disagree. I feel that when someone cheats, not only are you cheating on your spouse, but you are cheating on your family to. They are being lied to, they are being betrayed. Hence you have a right to know. Honestly, I would have emailed him too, but thats bc it takes me awhile to process things sometimes and I am more a heat of the moment gal. I am not sure if emailing her is best, I beleive a face to face talk is more appropriate however, I am worried he might say something to her regarding your email and she might rather hear it from you. I know that is not a clear answer from me, but I am still wrapping my head around this. I am so sorry, not just for you but for your father too. I just dont understand affairs, I really don’t.