I think my mom is having an affair…………

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think you should forget about what you saw and stay out of it. You’re the child she’s the parent- what do you think calling her out on this is going to do to your relationship with her?

I know it’s upsetting, but it’s none of your buisness. You shouldn’t be in her email anyway- even if it’s to “check and make sure she got an email.” Call  and ask next time.

  Your dad will figure it out and they will deal with it. I know this is difficult- I went through something not quite like this but similar. It taught me to stay out of my parent’s private lives.

Post # 34
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh gosh.  This is a really tough one, and I honestly have no idea what I would do in your situation.  On the one hand, this really is between her and your dad.  On the other hand, you are her daughter, and she has betrayed you too… and maybe your dad deserves to know all of this. 

I think it’s really crazy that your mom is denying the affair so adamantly and trying to turn this around on you by saying things like you did worse things as a teenager.  (Btw, it’s kind of ok if you did do worse things as a teenager… b/c you were a teenager, not an adult, and you weren’t *married* with *kids* to think about.) 

I really hope for everyone’s sake that your mom has truly called the whole thing off, but like you said, it will be really hard to know now if she is telling the truth.  I think you’re right that you might want to leave it for a few weeks and then see what happens and how things unfold…

Post # 35
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

People with a guilty conscience try to lay guilt back on other people, that’s what I think she was doing when she said you’ve done things she doesn’t approve of.  I agree with you, emotional affairs are real affairs.  I think you neeed to remind her that the subject you are talking to her about is her sugestive emails with another man and not what you did as a teenager.  If it were me I would just tell her that you read what was in those emails and there was nothing in there that you thought was funny. I would tell her that you want to talk with her when she gets home and that should give both of you some time to think about everything.  Until then though there really isn’t much else you can do.  She obviously didn’t think she would get caught and is now trying to figure out how to spin things in her favor.  Good luck and I hope you are able to think about other things and not stress too much about this!!!!

Post # 36
Member
611 posts
Busy bee

I agree with the PP about her having a guilty conscience. If nothing was going on then she wouldn’t have sent so many emails and offered to go all the way into town to call you about it! Just confront her when she gets back and tell her that what she’s doing is not right and she is not only betraying your dad but also you and your family! Tell her that things need to stop before your wedding or else! I will pray for you and your family and hope that your mom sees what she’s doing wrong!

Post # 38
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

Miss Giraffe, you have been on my mind all day.  I’m glad you’ve come to a place of reconciling this with yourself.  The ball is in your mom’s court now.  Focus on your upcoming wedding and what needs to be done and focus on your FH.  Please accept “hugs” from a mother who thinks you are a honorable young woman.  I admire your strength.

Post # 39
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry this is happening before your wedding and can only imagine how you must feel. YOU are being the adult in this situation. I hope your Fiance is being supportive – focus on that and your friends and family that are supporting you. You are in my thoughts.

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