(Closed) I think my mom is on drugs…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No! The head table is usually the bridal party & bride & groom. Or you can do the sweetheart table like you said. However, if it’s causing this much discord, you could have your parents with you, too. Tradition doesn’t really matter, IMO – just do what’s going to work best for you. (But I will say, listening to how crazy your mom has been about this, I’d probably sit her waaay across the room, lol!)

Post # 4
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I thought the head table just had the wedding party (Bride, groom, Bridesmaid or Best Man and GM), and the parents sat with the rest of the family at another table. 

Oh, and try not to let the “$5000 and one month of planning” get to you – my parents did the same thing to me on my first wedding.  Yes, it makes it stressful, but just nod your head and smile when you talk to them (and scream after you’re away from them πŸ˜‰ ).  Times have changed, it’s your wedding, do what you want, not what someone else wants (or doesn’t want)!

Post # 5
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’ve never seen the parents sit at the head table… ever.  It’s always the bride and groom and their bridesmaids and groomsmen.  I think a sweetheart table is romantic and a great idea.

I think your mom fits into two well-known mind sets.
(1) “My children should do everything the way I did it when I was their age.”
(2) “Weddings have to follow tradition.”

Unless she’s paying for the bulk of your wedding, you’re not required to follow her rules at all.  Have you had the “it’s my wedding not yours” talk with her yet?  Laughing

Post # 7
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh lordy, it’s not just you πŸ™‚  I haven’t had the energy and didn’t want to share my stress with you all with the stories mines given me lately.  (But please see my prior post in Family regarding my mom going batshit crazy πŸ™‚ )

The head table can be many things. Traditionally it is a long table with only the bride and groom and the wedding party all seated on one side of the table facing the rest of the guests.

More contemporary head tables are the bride and groom with some of the wedding party (and their spouses/dates) at a round table or whatever your guests are using. 

It’s a rare wedding that has the bride and groom seated with parents. 

I’ve been a wedding coordinator for hundreds of weddings and I can only think of 2 cases where that actually happened.

Generally I prefer the sweetheart table, as it’s easier for you to eat at your own pace (because you NEED to eat!) and visit your guests without feeling like you’re abandoning the rest of the table.

Your mom probably wouldn’t like my answers πŸ™‚

GOOD LUCK!

 

Post # 8
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You should tell her you’re planning to wear a colored crinoline.  That would really get her going!

Post # 9
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Your mom should come to my wedding and see my sweetheart table, 6 BMs and GMs for a 200 person wedding and colored bouquet while Fiance and I go table to table to greet our guests during dinner. πŸ˜‰

Moms are just crazy sometimes, mine has said some very odd things during planning too… Seriously, my parents are helping to pay too, so I understand wanting to do what they want, but you have to draw the line somewhere. The wedding is a reflection of you and your Fiance and your mom needs to accept/respect that!

Post # 11
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

LOL. Sorry girl. I’d just nod my head and smile. Then bust out in uncontrollable laughter when she’s out of hearing distance. πŸ™‚ lol. 

Post # 12
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I feel like I’m always starting my comments with ‘Well, in the UK…’ but here we go again!

In the UK we sit the parents, best man, maid of honour and obviously the bride and groom at top table. The rest of the bridal party usually sits amongst other guests but on a table close to the top table.

Didn’t realise this wan’t done in the US aswell! If you want to keep your folks happy just tell people you’re doing it ‘the British way’!

Post # 13
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

two of the weddings that i was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, i sat at a regular table with my friends and the parents sat at the head table.  But, the third one i sat at the head table.  i never knew which one was “tradiiton” until i came to weddingbee.  however, at my wedding – with all my 19 guests – i have FOUR BMs and ONE GM!! originally it was supposed to 6 and 2, but some of them can’t come. Oh and since there are 19 people, i am not having a head table. i have 3 tables, Fiance and I are sitting with our parents and my sister.  The other tables are not full and have our friends.  so i plan ti sit down at each table for parts of the meal!

Post # 14
Member
46607 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Cut her some slack. The most recent experience many moms have had with wedding planning was planning their own,

Things have changed. Instead of presenting your idea first, for example,why not email her pics of all the different colored bridesmaid dresses and shoes you have found online- something even more radical than your choice, then send her a pic of what you are planning. It may seem tame in comparison.

The topic ‘I think my mom is on drugs…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors