(Closed) I think my mom stole pain pills from our house. Upset. Long.

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know she did it from ONE comment in your post. When she had your aunt on the phone and acted panicky when auntie asked about your sleeping pills. Your mom has a very big problem anyway. Just be glad it was pills and not something that’s sentimental, like your wedding rings.

I know what it’s like to have a seriously crappy mom. Mine is also. 

Post # 3
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Also err on the side of caution. I would be worried about someone hurting themselves with the stolen pills. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  bgswifey.
Post # 4
Member
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

You do know she took them, but you are a loving daughter who wants to give her mother the benefit of the doubt, which is not unusual. But you do know she took them. You don’t have to choose to do anything about it if you don’t want to, but I think it’s important for yourself and your own peace of mind that you acknowledge that she did in fact take them.

The only good it will do to tell her you know is it might make her less likely to take things in the future. Pretending that the elephant in the room doesn’t exist won’t help anyone, I don’t think. It just lets her continue to believe that she is successful hiding a problem that continues to get worse and worse. You could choose to tell her that you know without “confronting” her. Drop it into a conversation. “Hey, Mom, so I just wanted to tell you that we know you took DH’s bottle of pain pills. We don’t have to talk about it unless you want to, though.” If she doesn’t feel attacked/put on the defensive she might just let it lie rather than denying etc, and then maybe eventually admit it the way she did about the stolen money. I think not letting her alone in your house ever again is a wise decision.

Post # 5
Member
4857 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Have your locks RE KEYED immediately and do not give keys to anyone. 

my NMom kept using her key to get into our house and we suspect things were taken. Eta she also has a long history of pill abuse. 

Post # 6
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

anonybee54321:  What an awful situation, but I think you already know your answer. Your mom took the pills. It sucks, it really sucks, but she did it. Please change your locks, it’s very likely that she got your key copied. Especially since she knows she can get money/pills at your place (even more so if you don’t tell her that you know she took the pills). 

Post # 7
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

You let someone who stole from you before have full access to your house (I don’t care that she’s your mother). And you didn’t expect this to happen? Forgiving and forgetting are two seperate things, they don’t have to go together.

Your mom has and will again take advantage of you. “I’ll never step foot in this house again!” Does she promise? Good. You guys want to see each other, meet in public or go to her house (don’t bring valuables). She might complain but that’s not your fault or even your business if she’s sad about. “”What kind of daughter are you?!?!” Hmm, I guess the kind of daughter that has a thief and possible drug addict of a mom who needs to protect herself now. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  letterstolove.
Post # 8
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Maybe you could approach discussing it from the standpoint of getting her help for her gambling addiction?  It’s putting a rift between the two of you, and would be beneficial to both her life and your relationship if she gets help.  Like PP said, you don’t want her to feel attacked because then she’ll just throw up a wall.  

I’ve honestly never dealt with anything like this though.  I’d assume it’s pretty hard to get someone help if they don’t want it/won’t admit they have a problem.  All you can do is love on her and encourage her to get help, while also continuing to take precautions to protect your own assets.

Post # 9
Member
4100 posts
Honey bee

I’d file a police report to protect you and your Darling Husband. If, God forbid, someone overdoses on that medication, I believe that you can be held liable for not reporting it stolen. 

Post # 10
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

It is not at all your fault. However…your mom has issues. I would confront her about the pills…just so you are not enabling her. Just make it a point to tell her you know. She can deny it all she wants. She really should get help.

And now you know that she still can’t be trusted. That just stinks. But I have a sister that is very similar. You are lucky to not have been “corrupted” by her ways. 

Post # 12
Member
1837 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry. My mother couldn’t be trusted either (gambling AND pill/alcohol addictions) so I understand how painful this is and your desire to believe in her. But I also understand that she took the pills. I’d say let it go this time as you can’t really prove anything, but don’t ever let her into your house unsupervised again. 

Post # 13
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

BMoreBecc:  

anonybee54321:  I have dealt with this before and was going to give the same advice. It will be a hard thing to do but she needs help. I would not confront her and file an investigational police report (not an incident report). Nothing will likely come from it because there is no proof but hopefully it will scare her enough to seek help. It does not sound like your husband takes it frequently but if he does need an early refill, he will need the police report anyway.

Post # 14
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

anonybee54321:  I hope the pills do reappear and you do end up feeling like an ass! That’s the best case scenario here, but I believe that’s highly unlikely. Everyone wants to think the best of their family, but sometimes family sucks. I hope this gets resolved quickly for you! 

And I have to agree with you Darling Husband, you need to tell her. Her thinking she got away with it will only fuel her fire 

Post # 15
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

anonybee54321:  Oh dear, I don’t think I explained properly! Of course it’s not a joyful occasion! I am sorry you have to deal with this. Maybe wait a couple of days and see if they show up. Also the waiting would give you time to not confront her in a emotional stAte. 

On another note, you don’t think she had a copy of your key made do you? 

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