(Closed) I think my mother and I are done forever.

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
2094 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@RedRose1979:  Read Carefully….

This kind of bull corn is EXACTLY what has happened with FI’s family. Things haven’t gone how his mom wanted or thinks it should, despite her paying not one cent, we are 35 and this is his second marriage. 

So, she started a mud storm. And has been at it for months. We have cut all contact with her (already verbally and written stating if she does x, we will not talk to her.) and now she throws tantrums in some form or fashion once a week, either herself or via her sister, who labels herself, quite codependently, her “keeper”. They have been in cahoots since this started and won’t stop. She has been blocked via email and Facebook. Texts are ignored. Her sister sent a recipe card that was supposed to be for a shower of mine, to go in a book, with a recipe for “A loving family”. The recipe ended with “Hand it to Fiance and have him call his mother”. It’s just non stop…grown people, behaving badly. The very ppl that are supposed to love us. 

 

Im so sorry. I say cut contact with mom and aunt, after setting verbal boundaries to them. Ignore all a nonsense until they can behave. Find a therapist and lean on your husband’s family. They sound nice! 

 

 

Post # 48
Member
4305 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your mom has “poor me” syndrome. She is fixated on attention whether it be good or bad. Thus she dramatically started a fight right before your wedding to make it all about her. Your aunt sounds like a psycho on a ride for the drama.

I know they’re young, but a 10 yr old and 14 yr old are smarter than you think. Go radio silent, keep in touch with them via FB but do not give any details about yourself except that you are doing muthafuckin fabulous. Live life and live it awesome and let those Assholes wallow in their misery and gossip.

Post # 51
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I loved reading the perspective of what @Car7yn44:  wrote. I think many people on here have offered way better advice than I can ever give, so I’m giving you, OP, my sympathy and prayers and hope it works out one day.

Post # 52
Member
4305 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@RedRose1979:  yeah… Bye. Unfortunately have the same kind of mother. She is no longer part of my life.

It sucks but the only way to move on is to set boundaries and stick to them. The sooner you do it, the better you will fewer. No amount of conniving begging or pleading will change the way your mom is unless she is ready to do it for herself and be the mother you need. Hugs.

Post # 54
Member
4305 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@melonseeds:  You are so sweet I am glad you are around the boards 🙂

Post # 55
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee

@RedRose1979:  you’re better than me! I’d have told her to shove that card where the sun doesn’t shine lol. She’s sucking up to your mom trying to get brownie points…but what is she going to do when you and your mom fall back in love (I hope anyway)? She’s just going to look stupid.

Post # 56
Member
4305 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@RedRose1979:  simple. Send gifts to the kids if you cannot see them & then participate in events that you feel loved, respected and happy. If that’s not with the company of some of your family then that’s outside of your personal boundaries. You cannot control people’s actions and you can not bear the burden of guilt for their a disgusting behavior. They already didn’t invite you to vacation to that I wouldn’t hold my breath for an invite to turkey dinner. So fuck them. Make the holidays your bitch and celebrate the hell out of them as a newlywed and be HAPPY. You decide what that means to you.

Post # 57
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I think you should make an effort to keep your siblings in your life, even if only via internet contact. But be prepared that, whether online or off, your mom and/or aunt may either try to cut you off from your sibs if you refuse to have contact with the two of them, or try to use these kids to draw you into more of their bs and nonsense. I hope they don’t/won’t, but be prepared.

Post # 58
Member
3449 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@RedRose1979:  oh honey, I understand what you’re going through. My situation is almost identical except my mother (1) did not pay for anything and (2) realizes she was wrong– although she won’t admit it or apologize for it. I completely understand how this kind of thing can tear you apart. Would it be ok if I pray for you? 

Post # 60
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@RedRose1979:  Just reading your story now after your posts on my problem. Wow, that’s powerful stuff. Definitely this should be given as a warning for anyone who’s situation is starting to get just a little out of control. I am so sorry you’ve had to go through this. 

Post # 61
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@RedRose1979:  Ugh, I’m sorry. If I were you I would really not talk to my mother ever again. I am not a very forgiving person. Yes, you have to make exceptions for your own mother. But damn. I don’t think she’s ever gonna grow up. Also, I hope that isn’t your real name and birth year in your username. That’s a lot of information about you to be putting out there.

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