Honestly, even though she may be your mother she sounds toxic.
I’ve had a strained relationship with my future mother-in-law. I haven’t spoken to her in over a year.
A lot of my fiance’s siblings live either 3 hours away or on the other side of the country. They have no idea how their mom has treated me over the years and only get to hear her side of the story. I’ve never met some of them, and the ones I have met the time we’ve spent together is far and few in between.
To make a long story short, his mother is racist, malicious, and a self-imposed victim.
She has said many terrible things to me, all were completely unwarranted. Examples: “Your step-father could never love you because you’re not his child. He’ll always love his blood children more.” “I saw a pretty girl today and asked her what her ethnicity was. She said Mexican. I said you couldn’t be, all of the Mexican girls I’ve met are ugly.” “All Mexicans are gangbangers and steal.”
I’m Mexican. All of this was said on Thanksgiving at dinner. That’s not even the worst of it.
The last time I saw her she tried to hit me. She had been screaming at me and literally the only thing I said to her was “Stop yelling at me.” Then she raised her hand to hit me and Fiance stopped her. She later came after him telling him she was going to quote: “Kick is fucking ass.”
Somehow she turned all of this around saying I tried to hit her and she omitted every other story that made her the bad guy. She called up all of his siblings crying making up stories about me. None of my FI’s family talks to him anymore. His sisters make passive aggressive comments to my Fiance about me all of the time.
His father recently had a stroke and he wasn’t informed until later. His siblings made angry comments saying he doesn’t care about their dad and that I’m the reason he doesn’t come around anymore.
I’m over trying to convince these people that I’m not the monster their mother has portrayed me to be. It’s their loss. In the end, his mother is a miserable person and I have many people in my life that actually care/love/support me. So I no longer waste my energy on them.
Just concentrate on your life and building your happy future with your fiance.