- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
My mum passed away when I was 11. It was just me and my dad until he met my stepmother right before my 18th birthday. Within a month they had already decided to move in together, and did so just as I was starting university (im in australia, so I was 18).
I didn’t have a job, and Darling Husband (then SO) had just graduated university and had an entry level graduate job. Anyway, I was stressed out all the time about money and upset that my dad had left (my stepmother hated me- it was an awful time!) and I wasn’t dedicated to university. I hardly ever went and passed all units sitting at about 60% for each subject.
I ended up leaving half way through my first year. This was in 2008 and since then I have done another year of a different degree at a different university which I did well in but it wasn’t for me. For the past 2 years I have just been working full time giving myself space to really think about what I want to do.
I had been thinking long and hard, and in the past few months have seriously had the strongest desire to go back to my original university and finish off my second degree there, Darling Husband and i are in the financial position now where I could study full time, and would only need to work a few hours a week for my own personal “fun” money.
I applied the other week and heard back today, they said because I was already a student there I need to send a letter in asking for readmission. I need to explain why I left, why I want to come back and any other supporting information.
I feel like I don’t have even the slightest chance of getting in. When I put pen to paper the situation with my dad doesn’t seem so bad- but at 18 when your only parent essentially abandons you (after treating you like a princess for 18 years) it was heartbreaking. Obviously in the past 5 years I have matured immensley, but I don’t know if that will be enough.
I’m getting older, and I really don’t want to be a receptionist for the rest of my life 🙁
ETA: I guess I am so upset about this because I am basically having to explain why I am a quiter, and this is the part of me I have tried so hard to change over the past few years- when the going gets tough I give up. I just am feeling that maybe these changes are too late.