(Closed) I think my wedding is falling apart

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
5275 posts
Bee Keeper

Msmarie31:  TAKE A BREATH……You will probably be able to get a hold of her with in the next 76 days, especially since her husband is the best man.

On a side note, I’m sorry your former BMs were total flakes.

Post # 3
760 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

Msmarie31:  Why do you NEED a bridal party? Honestly…your wedding isn’t falling apart.  Yes, it sucks a bit that your friends aren’t able to be there for you as you’d hoped but don’t fill their spots with ‘second tier’ people just so you have pretty pictures.  Are you still getting married to FI? Are you still going to be stunningly beautiful?  I’m pretty sure that’s a yes to both…

Breathe, relax and enjoy your day.

Post # 4
2328 posts
Buzzing bee

Msmarie31:  man that sucks. 

how long have you been trying to get ahold of her? if more than a week you may want to ask the Best Man to tell her to give you a call to go over some wedding details

Post # 5
1283 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Msmarie31:  Take a deep breath. She’s the best man’s wife, right? So you know she is going to be there. And, she doesn’t have to match anyone since you aren’t having any other bridesmaids, so you and her can find a dress for her to wear that both of you agree on. You still have a lot of time left. 

Post # 6
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

Wait, so you fired all four of your bridesmaids? What?


Well, absent any context … you’ll be able to get in touch with this woman at some point in the next 2.5 months. Hopefully she’s a better fit for your wedding.

Post # 9
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

O …. k ….

Post # 10
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I may be completely wrong with this, especially since I don’t have much information to go on, but all 4 of your bridesmaids have fallen through and the 5 th potential bridesmaid isn’t returning your calls. That seems like a pretty big coincidence. I wonder if you are the common denominator here. 


I would examine your own behaviour thoroughly and honestly to see if there’s anything you’ve been doing that could have turned people away.

Post # 11
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Msmarie31:  you kicked them out because they couldn’t shop for dresses….?

Well the deed is done…I say don’t have a bridal party and just do you. Don’t try to fill the numbers in…the day is about you and your groom anyways…and look on thebright side…you save money on not buying a gift for the bridal party. 

Post # 12
7110 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If four people are no longer in your wedding party and another isn’t returning your calls I’m going to you assume that you are the issue. Step back and take a look at your recent actions and determine if you were perhaps being a bit too demanding. Perhaps you should just pick out the dress yourself and let her know the style number.

That being said, your wedding is most certainly not falling apart just because you may not have a bridal party. Maybe you should consider not having one at all at this point if it’s too stressful.

Post # 13
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

Msmarie31: I’m not sure what you are asking for here. 

Live read a lot of your other posts. If I’m correct, you don’t live with FI, you have a 7 year old already, you are pregnant 3-4 months along (?) right now, FI is possibly going away for 7 months, going to have to live with your parents after getting married, 4 BMs have dropped out and now your fill in isn’t returning your calls? 

Wow…just wow. That’s a whole lot of drama going on. 

How old are you? I hate to ask but are you being a little demanding or bad attitude toward them? What part of your actions are you taking responsibility for? 


Post # 14
2718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

MrsTtoB:  :-O whoa.

Msmarie31:  just whoa. 

Ummm…if you fired 4 BMs just don’t have a wedding party, don’t ask for stand ins, just stop. If your FI’s best man’s wife doesn’t get back to you in the next two weeks (stop trying to look for her, she already knows you’re looking for her) assume she won’t be a bridesmaid either.

I’m gonna suggest you stop and just breathe. Meditate, take a yoga class, a kickboxing class, something that’ll help you unwind. You’ll think more clearly and find a better solution that way. Two and a half months is plenty of time to figure out everything that’s wedding related. Just remember tho…a wedding is a few hours long but your friendships and relationships have been and could be far more long lasting.

Post # 15
956 posts
Busy bee

I got my dresses in the last couple of months. My bm’s all have different schedules and one was interstate. We only went looking once together. A few times I looked with them individually and sometimes they went together. Whatever worked. You can’t force people into the same schedules and as long as they do it at some point does it matter? I would imagine there would be a few back and forth to the bridal shop for different girls. Mine all got their dresses, one the week before, and looked beautiful. 

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