Post # 1
Sorry, this has nothing to do with my wedding, I just need some major advice. I am going to try to tell my story as best as possible. Please tell me your thoughts.
Ok, so I have been working for the same company for going on 3 years now. I found out about the job through my sisters friend. Let’s call her Tina. Well, ever since I started working there Tina has always focused all of her energy on hating someone. She started out hating Jake, then she hated Sara, then moved onto Mike. Once Mike finally got fired she moved onto the new hire Bridget. Let me tell you, she goes out of her way to watch these peoples every move and report things to the boss. All she does is spend her time talking bad about these people and acting like they don’t do their jobs well.
Anyway, she now gets along with all of those people but has moved onto hating me. She makes my life a living hell. She is so rude and goes out of her way to piss me off everyday. First off, she writes down every time I walk in even 30 seconds late, talks about me and another co-worker constantly and goes to the boss weekly to complain about something I have done. The thing is, we don’t even work in the same department. Nothing I do affects her, nor does she even know the aspects of my job duties. She tries to control me and sends me rude e-mails almost daily. I was always taught to kill people with kindness and I never get an attitude with her. I am always the bigger person and try to please her even though it kills me on the inside. I try to start friendly conversations with her and always smile at her in the hall and she always gives me dirty looks. No smile (EVER!) just glares.
I stress about this issue day and night and I think I’m getting an ulcer. I might just have a heart attack over it and I’m not being dramatic (ok maybe a little). I just want it to stop.
I hope this is making sense because I could go on and on about this. I guess what I’m asking is should
I go to the boss and tell him how uncomfortable she is making me (to the point where I am considering looking for a new job) or do I continue to kill her with kindness and ignore her negativity?
Post # 3
Wow that’s tough. Have you tried invitingher out to lunch and having a talk with her? Not accusing her but taking responsibility and asking her why she is unhappy with you. (i know that’s tough)
If that won’t work you have 2 choices:
1. Ingore it and she’ll move on to someone else
2 Talk to the boss
good luck..I’m so sorry
Post # 4
Iu my opinion, these kind of people want a reaction out of you. They feed off the drama. Don’t be nice or rude, that only makes her think she has the power. Just ignore, ignore, ignore! Pretend she doesn’t even exist. She will move on to someone else when she realizes she can’t get to you anymore. We had someone like this at my work and eventually she pissed off just about everyone around her and sadly she was let go. 🙂
Post # 5
what this woman is doing is workplace bullying – do you have a HR dept that you can discuss this with?
my advise is not to have any private chats (or lunches) with this woman whatsoever – she has her standard MO after all this time and she is not about to change for anyone because it sounds like its worked well for her in the past. do not give her any ammo so always be polite and professional.
do you have anyone senior to both of you that you can discuss this with who could champion you? is management aware of her behaviour in picking off staff members?
we too had a nutcase and she would suddenly dislike someone and then do everything she could to make that person look bad. when she decided that one of my staff in my department was next on her list i took notes, recording time, date, conversation topics ect so i had documented proof when it took it to senior management.
one of the things i told my staff member was to be loud about being polite and professional so every morning my staff member would walk in, warmly greeting everyone and the response from the one nutcase was barely a grunt – which was noticed by the right people. so when the nutter would shout demands at her across the floor without even saying her name and my staff member answered pleasantly & acted quickly it was noticed that my staff member was pleasant while the nutter was rude and out of line
its a sucky situation because we all spend too many hours at work to be unhappy. if you find that you cant get any support from managment then i suggest looking for another job because life is too short to be miserable
Post # 6
Oh, my! I am so sorry that this is happening to you! I imagine being in a situation like this makes you not even want to go into work because of rudeness from your co-worker. It seems like you have been trying to kill her with kindness already and from the sound of it she’s still getting to you (hence the ulcer and stress level). Everyone hates to be the tattle tale but if you really enjoy your job, you should really bring the issue up to your boss to nip it in the bud as quickly as possible. It seems to me like she loves to run people off and start drama. I’m sorry she has brought her attention to you and I hope it gets better! Good Luck!
Post # 7
This sounds an awful lot like harrassment, and I would report it as such. If she’s been sending you rude emails, then you have some documentation, and can move forward with a formal complaint. Go to your HR department – there should be someone available to who can help you handle this, especially if you work in a larger company. It may not be sexual harrassment, but you’re still entitle to a harrassment-free work place. Because it’s affecting your ability to perform your job, your company SHOULD know about it, and should have a vested interest in stopping it.
Post # 8
Am sure everyone else notices it, is there anyone there you can confide in to get their opinion