- 8 years ago
My two friends are getting married. The groom was a graduate school classmate, and I became close with his girlfriend, now fiance/bride. They are set to be getting married in two months.
The Bride is a little flighty (I’m being nice. She’s actually really lazy.) and very disorganized. They set the date for their wedding back in January, so they have had a lot of time to prepare.
I haven’t heard from the Bride much since we picked out our dresses in May, and went shopping for her gown. I figured she was busy, as was I. She also got her invitations that same weekend and managed to send them out the second week of September.
Over this past weekend, the mother-of-the-groom held a bridal shower for the bride. Afterwards, we all sat down with her to have a “bridesmaids meeting.” I was expecting she’d have last minute things for us to do and need help coming up with creative ideas for the smaller details.
Turns out, the bride has almost nothing planned. She booked the chapel and reception hall, picked out her dress, and the groomsmen have gotten fitted for their tuxes. But that’s it.
She assigned each of the bridesmaids their own tasks. In addition to co-planning the bachelorette party, I am now responsible for finding her shoes, making the gift baskets for the guests staying at the hotel (She hasn’t bought anything for the gift baskets, I am responsible for finding the items and making the actually baskets), and arranging the bridal party wedding day-of snacks and beverages. And I’m also responsible for helping her find and arrange decorations for her hall.
I’m also unsure about who she’s expecting to pay for all of this. I know her money is tight, but she also didn’t make a budget (we all told her to, she just never got around to it). I’m not prepared to shell out a lot of money on top of what I’ve already spent and I’m planning to spend ($300 dress w/o alterations, my own hair, shoes, hotel costs, bachelorette party, and bride’s shoes). How do I tell her that I’m not okay with paying for all of the above?
Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that the bride is not going to get anything done until the last two weeks before the wedding. I work two jobs, coach a high school sports team, and I’m already committed to a volunteering obligation. I don’t have the flexibility to run around like a chicken with my head cut off planning her wedding.
I don’t mean to b*tch or sound bitter, but I agreed to be her bridesmaid. I think the other bridesmaids are just as ticked off as I am, because she really has not done anything in planning this wedding. I think she’s being unreasonable — or am I?