(Closed) I think the Bride is being unreasonable

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Since when did bridesmaids became employees???????? I’d just tell her: “Sorry, no can do, I’m really busy. Good luck with that though!”

I would recomment not telling her you’ll buy the items if she gives you the money, but telling her to buy the items herself (in the nicest possible way)

People who ask for stuff like that should be prepared to hear a big no in return

Post # 33
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

She is asking for way too much

Post # 34
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

Wow.  I think it’s ridiculous that she has left so much to the end, and pretty much expecting you and the rest of the BMs to help.  It’s one thing to help with a project or two, it’s another thing to expect people to make purchases like shoes and out of town boxes for you.  Hope things work out for you, but I would not be willing to shell out all of this money for her laziness.

Post # 35
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Dag yo. Find shoes for the bride? That’s nuts.

I’d gently point her in the direction of the nearest mall, failing that, google.

It would be a completely different story if she had found ‘the perfect shoe’ but couldn’t nail it down in a store or find it online & adsked for a little help finding something similar (had she done it nicely..), but that’s just nuts.

As for you paying for/arranging anything else, I would say ask her for the money. Straight up.

“Well I was looking into xxx, but couldn’t confim/book because I didn’t know what your budget for xxx was. So just let me know what you’re comfortable with or give me an ‘allowance’ and we’ll go from there?”

Usually I would just save reciepts and have the other person pay me back when all is said and done, but you said she’s tight on cash & you’re planning your own wedding, so I wouldn’t risk the added debt.

“Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that the bride is not going to get anything done until the last two weeks before the wedding. I work two jobs, coach a high school sports team, and I’m already committed to a volunteering obligation. I don’t have the flexibility to run around like a chicken with my head cut off planning her wedding.”

Bring this up^^ just as you did here as it limits your ability to be her slave helper.



Post # 36
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

WOW is all I can say….

Post # 37
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yeah..she is “straight trippin’ boo”! No way would I take on all of those responsibilities. I know you have already payed for the dress….but if you take on those tasks…just think about how much MORE money you will be shelling out.

Post # 38
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@misslmac: That is INSANE. I suppose she’s probably going to want you to carry her up the aisle, bake the wedding cake and serve the drinks.

I’d tell her to f— off. But since there’s a good chance that you’re a kinder, gentler soul than me, I’d suggest just letting her know early and often that you aren’t lifting a finger until she shows you the money.

Also, tell her that you feel that it’s highly inappropriate that you pick out her shoes, and that you’d feel much more comfortable if she would at least go with you to the mall/DSW/Payless/wherever. After that, if she still insists you pick out the shoes on your own, you have a few options. You can either be nice and get her some good ones, or you can have a little fun and get her some white Crocs or something. If she doesn’t like them, well, maybe she should have been a little nicer to her bridesmaids. 😀

Post # 39
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

See now.  First I don’t have bridesmaids for my wedding but lots of my girlfriends are on email and phone calls with me to see how the wedding planning is going.  When chatting with these girls I sort of vent a bit saying “Gosh I have so much to do!  I haven’t decided on the flowers yet and I can’t find the blue shoes I have in my head”.  They will respond back with links to things I might like. Now that is more of what a friend should be doing.  Not expecting them to order 3 pairs of shoes off zappos for you.  There is a difference between support and assignments.

Post # 40
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would tell her that I would do the bachelorette party, but was unable to do the other things.  If you feel inclined, I would definitely get the money up front.  Wow- what a piece of work.  I really like the idea of white crocs!

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