(Closed) I think they just invited themselves?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
  • poll: What should we do?
    Just invite them : (4 votes)
    16 %
    Have FI talk to the co-worker : (8 votes)
    32 %
    Ignore the comment and hope they don't show up : (13 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9526 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Talk to them and ask how they were invited. Your guest list is set. You appologize but purhaps you can go out together another time…

    Post # 3
    Member
    740 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I would consider having an amicable conversation with them about it or maybe nonchalantly mention the guest list or how the invites went out, etc to the woman without directly saying they’re not invited?

    I wouldn’t invite them though, this can keep happening and you dont want to end up inviting people just because they were presumptuous. If this comes up again be prepared with the “we only have a certain amount of space, we’re sadly not able to have everyone there” type of thing.

    It’s your day, I wouldn’t stress about them!

    Post # 4
    Member
    271 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I didn’t vote because I feel that my answer is a little different from the options.  I am not sure the details of your wedding/reception, but with a lot of weddings that I have been involved in, there is always going to be a few seats open even if you didn’t plan for it.  Some people just want to go and not necessarily partake in eating/drinking (I am assuming this is not the case in your situation).  I, myself, would not allow anyone to come to the reception if they did not come to the wedding (unless they wanted to but wasn’t able to do to scheduling).  If they are excited, you should let them come unless you think they don’t know how to behave.  If your wedding plans are not open to allowing a few more guests, I would be straight up honest with them after you recieve your RSVPs back and have confirmed you have no availablity.  Congrats on your upcoming big day and good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2600 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Any chance these are two dudes talking and therefore a bit dim on social cues?

    I mean, there’s like, 8 layers of communication here. It *could* be that BM’s Girlfriend was talking to your FI’s co-worker’s Girlfriend about how exciting the wedding was, and the Girlfriend came home and relayed that to the co-worker who either a) didn’t ‘get’ that he and Girlfriend aren’t actually invited–ie, Girlfriend talks about it and the guy pretty much hears “blah blah blah wedding blah blah” and it gets translated as “we’re going to a wedding” even though Girlfriend is certainly aware they’re not actually invited and/or b) he simply lumped everyone together when talking to your Fiance. Or your Fiance heard everyone lumped together when co-worker may have just said, “Hey, that’s exciting! We’re super excited for you!” (meaning, we’re excited for you to be married, NOT we’re excited to be there)

    I mean, I’m just spitballing here, but since this is kind of like “Telephone,” I would be a bit cagey about addressing hte whole thing for the moment. Perhaps you can invite the couple in question out again, and if the subject of the wedding is brought up, see if they actually say stuff that suggests they think they’re invited. Or, since htis started because co-worker is talking to BM’s Girlfriend, maybe call up the Bridesmaid or Best Man and say, “Just checking…you didn’t invite co-worker and Girlfriend like randomly, did you?”

    Post # 6
    Member
    5154 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would probably just ignore it. They’ll figure it out. No one’s going to show up without an invite. If I started getting declines, I might send an invite to avoid hurt feelings. 

    The topic ‘I think they just invited themselves?’ is closed to new replies.

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